"People are often unreasonable, irrational and self centered; forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies; succeed anyway. If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you; be honest and sincere. What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight; create anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous; be happy anyway. The good you do today, will often be forgotten; do good anyway. Give the best you have and it may never be enough; give your best anyway. In the final analysis, it is between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway." - Mother Theresa
You know when you’re a kid and as you grow older and understand the basic concept of life, you start to build in your mind how you would want your life to be when you are old enough to have full control of what you imagined.
I wouldn’t know exactly what I would have built while in imagined back when I was a kid. But I’m sure I have an idea and it would be to have kids, a safe home for them to grow up in and financial stability and of course, Superman would have to be my husband.
Everyday for the past few months, I’ve woken up with.a heart full of gratitude. I’m super thankful. I’m blessed and I do my absolute best to not forget it but to share it.
Thanksgiving is upon us and I can say wholeheartedly that I am happy and I am blessed. All that I’ve ever dreamed of is right I front of me at my fingertips.
Going into 2022, I hope I can do more. Share more and hope that those i come in contact with can find their happy and heart full of blessings.
2020 shouldn’t count anyway cause it was a pandemic year. So let’s just say - 2020 was the year of COVID-19.
I’m about to turn 32 years old. Next month. I’ve thought about my blog here and there with thoughts of how I’d like to update it. But my honest feelings when the thought crossed my mind was - I don’t think I’ll ever return back to my blog and whatever entries were there, was all it would ever see.
Today, was a little different. I didn’t make it to church today, I woke up in time that everyone would have been leaving, so in disappointment, I woke up and thought… “do what you can anyway.”
I visited the ER last night. I went in cause I couldn’t feel my right arm. In my mind, I worried I was having a stroke. My grandma Silivia had a stroke in her elder years and that dawned on me that it may happen to me too which explains the thought that I might be having a stroke.
I drove to the ER. Left hand only. Checked in. Got vitals and sat and waited for the doctor. When the doctor came in, she asked her questions of what’s been going on and I answered. She says she would like to do an ultrasound to rule out any blood clots. As she continued to examine my arm, she saw the muscle above my shoulder near the back of my neck was swollen and super tight.
She says… well here’s your problem. Your muscle is so tight that it’s pinching your nerve to your arm. 😳🤣 I asked… is that the nice doctor way of saying - you’re fat, exercise and stretch. 😂 she laughed and said, something this bad only comes from it building up overtime… and since I had two babies a year and one the following year, it’s just slowly built up.
So they threw a hot pad on my shoulder and basically massaged it back down. Told me it will be painful in the morning and sent me with a prescription for ibuprofen and lidocaine patches.
I drove home, both arms this time but right side was very painful, but this drive was different. I drove home with thoughts of each of my family members in mind.
TinaLei Ku’uAmaraAne Klailea Suluka
My Fireball.
8 months old and is the ruler of the rug. If I could say anything about my WayWay baby, it’s that she reminds me so much of my Dad. If she spent all nine months while I carried her inside of me, with my Dad, i wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest. Her laugh, Her observation to everything around her to her cry. I see so much of my dad in her.
1 other thing. She’s a little fighter. When she sees something she wants, she goes for it and anything that dares to be in her way will see her wrath. 😂
Silieta Kuuipo O Kakela Suluka
Boss Baby
18 months old and knows exactly what she wants plus she knows exactly what you want too. 🤣
She’s got a clear eye for her destinations and I love how bold she is in putting herself out there.
I’m a nursery leader at church so everyone brings their babies to me while they are in their classes. Every kid has a little phase of getting used to nursery before they are comfortable with staying.
Silieta. Had no problem of going. Let’s see if results stay the same when she heads off to preschool.
Henele O’Vikster Suluka
The Boxer. 9 years old.
He’s moved on from his only 1 season of little league football and found new ground in boxing. He loves boxing.
He is somewhat a preteen and with this change comes with much attitude and selective hearing.
These times are rough but luckily for me, Henele has a huge heart. If there’s one way I know I could get something stuck in his head to learn, it’s through his heart. He’s got some things we’ve got to focus on but overall, what a kid he is. I truly grateful for my one and only son.
Tamara Leethee Suluka
The Teenager. 11 years old.
Please oh please fast forward this part. 😂😂
Man I wish there was a manual for teenagers. She’s still my little girl but these changes we got going on makes me want to pull all my hair out.
Patience is more then what is seems. It’s a craft, a skill a kind of way of life that if it’s not incorporated, you’ll die. 😂
Amoni Suluka.
32 years old.
Has taught me a love that I never knew existed. A live that’s close to the sound of a just born babies cry.
I love the life we’re building together. I love every challenge, fight, argument and joke that comes with every days happenings.
We’ve got a lot of life to live and a lot to live for.
I've made it to the year 2020! I'm so excited to see what's in store for this upcoming year. I have many things on my mind and many things I want to tackle and many goals that have been placed for me to conquer.
I would say that for my family for this year, we are going to theme this year with - "Seeing Clearly" I think it's only fit because it is the year 2020, do you see the intended pun in that? lol Yeah it might be a little cheesy but "Seeing Clearly" couldn't ring more perfect for me and my little family.
This will be year 2 for Amoni and I being married and although our first year has been mostly amazing, lets be honest. We are still very human and still have our rough times.
Both Christmas and New Years this round has been rough on both Amoni and I. I can't tell if it's Satan working overtime on us or if it really is just us finding differences that are hard for us to patch or meet in the middle.
What I do know is that I'm a fighter and will continue to keep fighting until I know for a fact that I cannot fight anymore.
So here's to 2019 that has taught me many lessons that I've learned to endure and also persevere through. Many life trials and struggles that have strengthened me and helped me mind many weaknesses that I now know I need to work on for a better me.
My family I will be working on this year and hope to make everything for the better.
Here we are, December 22, 2019 and as the year winds down, I wanted to take a few minutes to simply write about all that I'm grateful for.
This year really did fly by quickly. So much happened and I don't know how I lost track of the entire year. Overall, it's been a pretty ok year with the exception of the passing of my Dad. I really do miss him so much.
I have pictures of him and the family right before he passed and I catch myself crying or feeling down cause part of me wishes I would've done more to try and keep him here longer.
The last time I was on here, I nut-shelled the whole year in one post. That sounds like me these past few years though. I have a hard time taking the time to sit and update the blog.
December 11, 2019 at 9:58 am.
Sisilieta Ku'uipo-'O-Kakela Suluka
was born. She weighed in at 6 lbs 9 oz and stretched 19 inches long. She finally arrived!!
Lets rewind a bit though yeah?
December 10, 2019. Amoni and I woke up that morning and planned our day. What we originally planned totally fell through. We had plans to fix cars that we've had lined up for some time and we eneded up going to Home Depot to rent the rug doctor and we carpet cleaned the entire house! lol Way different huh?
I wanna say maybe all that walking around the house really put some work on my body cause once we were done, I showered and went to bed about 10 maybe 11 pm. Now, being 8 almost 9 months pregnant I'm constantly going to the bathroom.
Well, its about midnight on December 11, 2019 and I get up to go pee. As I'm walking out of the room to the bathroom, my water breaks! I turn to Amoni and say, "Uh oh!" and he turns and says, "Whats going on?" and I'm like, "My water just broke! On the carpet we just cleaned!" lol Yes, I was worried about the carpet too - why? I dont know.
I tell him to wake up the kids and send them to my Mom's house. I've had the baby's bag and my hospital bag already packed for what seems like weeks... you know.. I was trying to put out to the universe that I was ready to have this baby. lol
I change, we send the kids off and we are off to the Hospital.
We get the ER and the roll us down to the Womens Center and we get checked in. They bring us to one of the delivery rooms and start taking samples to confirm that I am in fact in labor.
The nurse runs 3 different tests, leaves and comes back maybe 10 minutes later and tells me that the tests came back negative and that my water has not broken.
I'm like - WHAT?!! (and in my head I'm thinking either this nurse is crazy or her tests are dumb and wrong.)
She says, she will give it maybe 45 minutes and re-test.
During this 45 minutes I'm starting to feel heavy and strong contractions and I'm telling myself, I am not going home feeling these types of contractions.
She comes back and takes more samples and leaves.
My Everything.
She comes back and says the same thing. My water hasnt broke. She checks my cervix and I've dilated from a 4 to a 6 since her first sample testing and says that based on this I am in early stage labor.
10 hours later. My next Princess is born and I couldn't be any happier.
Pregnancy was really taking a toll on my body during the 3rd trimester and honestly don't think I could've lasted until Christmas Day to have her. But just like Tamara and Henele, she was born 2 weeks early.
The one thing about my delivery was my Dad was there. It would've been about 4 am when my contractions were really big and really long. I felt so tired to cry or scream that I wanted to just push and get her out. But the way she was positioned made it impossible for me to push cause I could've hurt her if I tried to push too early. So I sat and took the pain.
But around this time, I saw my Dad standing off to the corner of the bed and in my head I cried out to him asking him, "What do I do?" and he would reply "Breathe Via, just Breathe!"
And for the second half of my labor time, my dad coached me through the pain until it was finally time for me to push her out.
When I was pushing her out, I turned to look for my dad in the area he was standing before, and he had already left.
Thank you Dad! I couldn't have done it without you!
We discharged on Friday December 13th. There weren't any complications after delivery. Just a matter of keeping an eye on me and the baby for the standard 48 hours.
Now being home for almost 2 weeks now, she is sooo loved!
I am truly grateful of my family and everything that I've been blessed with. So much has happened this past year and along with all that happened, many blessings too!
I love and miss my Dad and Im truly blessed to have my little Silieta in our growing family.
Here's to a year to remember and a new year to prepare for.
2020 will be a year to make bigger moves with bigger strides.
Happy Holidays and Happy New Years everyone!
Hope your hearts and homes are filled with Love and Joy!
This year has been - a year to remember.
Both good and bad and everything in between has come of 2019.
Overall, I would say, 2019 is an ok year.
Ok for the following reasons.
Let us begin shall we?
1. Year started out great. Mind you I married the love of my life last September so the beginning of this year, we would have only been a few months into our marriage.
Marriage so far has been "a dream"
You know when you're a kid and dream of that special person you're gonna spend your life with and all your future goals and how you're going to turn out when you're in your adult years? Well, all my dreams came true when I married my Honda.
Honda Meets Grandma Silivia
We are so compatible it's ridiculous. I want to say that in one of my earlier posts that could be even years back, I had written something along the lines of "if there is a man out there that is just like me, I would propose to him."
He is that man.
He's so good with Tamara and Henele. He can't wait to adopt them fully and legally. Tamara has actually sided more with him then me on most things. I love the relationship they have built.
Last night he had a meeting at the church and got home pretty late. His first place to go is down to see the kids. Totally blew me off and went to check on them.
2. I got pregnant sometime in January. We were super excited. We want more kids and were trying. So when I tested positive, we were both so very happy.
Two months in, sometime in March, I miscarried. We cried. I remember seeing the look on his face and how broken I could tell he was.
The Miscarriage
Soon, after... and no joke.. like right after. I got pregnant again. I honestly dont even think I had a period from the miscarriage to the new pregnancy. Thats how determined we were to grow our family.
Today, I am 37 almost 38 weeks and about to pop. lol I know.... this is the only reason why I can take the time to update the blog... I'm pretty much out of commission doing anything.
This pregnancy has been such a rollercoaster. With Tamara and Henele, it was pretty smooth sails. But this one, I've had to endure pelvic pressure. Something new I learned this round. So basically, the baby has been developing close to and on top of my pelvic bone and when I hit about 5-6 months, that when the pain really started to hit. The heavier the baby gets, the more pain I have to deal with. So these past few days and what I hope will be only the next few days, I still have to do my best to do what I can but also being mindful of myself. It's really hard.
We are naming her after Amoni's late Mom Sisilieta and my oldest sister Kuuipo. =) Hopefully she comes soon. Cause I've been ready to unload for a few weeks now. lol Im actually counting contractions as I sit here and blog.
3. Around the same time we got pregnant, we learned my Dad was diagnosed with Stage 2 Liver Cancer. We were certain we were going to beat it. You notice how I've been using past tense.
My Dad passed away August 8, 2019 at about 6:30 am.
It had been such a rough few months of drs appointments, procedures, surgeries and all of the above. In the end, we left it to God and we have been coping and learning to accept that his journey here in this life was complete.
I miss my dad so much. I wish there was something more we could do to keep him here longer with us. A few months has passed and things are definitely different without him.
One Last Ride
- after my dads funeral services we asked to drive by our home one last time with him before we go lay him to rest at the cemetery. This is us.
4. The Move - This past June, Lee and Lawrence moved out of the Yellow House and into an apartment. Lets just say, they decided they wanted to venture out on their own, away from the family. When they made that decision, the Yellow House was open and we decided to move from the Back House to the Yellow House and took over the mortgage.
We are currently moving the mortgage out of Lees name and into mine and Amonis. Its been challenging. Given, Im the only steady income, I'm pregnant and during my dad cancer treatment, I was his caregiver, taxi and secretary. I took a hit on my only income. Amoni has been steady fixing cars and picking up cash where he can, but even that can be a hit or miss. Which brings me to...
5. The Calling - A few months ago, Amoni was called to be the Second Counselor in the Bishopric. He has been steadily serving faithfully and with his calling comes with MUCH ministering. When families need help with their cars, he's right there ready to serve and sometimes, they don't have the money to pay for labor, so it gets hard. But we continue to see that sometime cash flows and other times blessings flow. Either way, we take it one day at a time, one month at a time and just keep it moving.
6. The Green Card - Amoni is currently a permanent resident of The United States. We just got his Green Card earlier this week. We initially filed all his form back in March and finally got an interview two weeks ago and got approved for his Green Card. He can now, work and help out around the house with a steady income.
Since our baby will be here soon, I asked him to stay home with me during my maternity leave and will plan to make adjustments to our family as needed while I am off work recovering from the baby, before I return back to work.
______________________________________________
It's been quite a year. I wish I could go into detail the way I used to. But for now, this will have to do.
Christmas is around the corner and the year is winding down.
I am content with life at this time. Life is definitely blissful with exceptions of mourning my dad.
Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!
May 2020 be the year to start standing and really progressing in the life. I want to live with the goals my dad set for us in this life.
I have a lot to cover here soon once the baby is born, but I know what Im capable of and cant wait to beast!
So the below post was originally written a week after we got married.
As for my title of this post, I'm now 5 months into my marriage with my Amoni Suluka.
I know, it's time I go ahead and update. Hopefully, because I'm at the same time, trying to upload a little video on my youtube channel of our lovely little lives, I want to post it within this post too. Let me warn you though - its 18 minutes long. lol Please be advised.
A year ago, I was pretty much in my own world, keeping things simple and really just focusing on myself. After my second marriage fell through, I told myself that I've put the kids through enough, lets just move on and live our best life, alone. I honestly wasn't planning or even wanting for that matter to get married again. I just wanted to improve who I was. I DID - tell myself this...
"If my King is out there, he will find me."
I wasn't gonna put myself out there. I wasn't gonna actively date. I honestly wanted to be alone with Tamara and Henele and focus on bringing their dreams to life.
Little did I know... My King would really find me.
Amoni is from New Zealand. He had recently finalized his divorce in New Zealand and came to America to visit his Brother that lives in Morgan, Utah.
Morgan is really in the middle of no where. If you drive up to Layton, and go east into the moutains you'll run into this small town, Morgan.
He came to America June 2018. He had been in town a few months before I even heard of him. Amoni is an Auto Mechanic. Amoni is a relative of Lawrence - my brother in law, Lee's Husband. Well, Lawrence's truck had broke down and heard that his cousin was in America and called him and asked him to check out his truck since he was a Mechanic.
He fixes Lawrences truck and Lee is impressed with his work and asks him to then work on her FJ Cruiser. Amoni did a huge number on Lee's car cause it really did have a lot of work that needed to be done on it.
While Lee's car is getting fixed she would post pictures of her car parts on our family chat and just give us random car fixing updates for us. I remember seeing these pictures and what was being done and thinking, jeez Les, you really don't take care of your car. Yes, I was impressed.
It was then I thought in my mind, "do i have any problems with my car that need to be done." I didn't. I actually just got my brakes done at a shop a few months before Amoni showed up. And everything was looking good with my car anyway. So I didn't have any business with "this mechanic."
Now, when my second marriage fell through, I took both kids with me and both cars. I drive primarily my Escalade and my Trailblazer, my Dad was using at the time.
I come home and as my usual, I talk with my mom about my day at work. She then tells me that "this mechanic" is working on the Trailblazer. I think, hold on... that's my car. What going on with the trailblazer and what is "this mechanic" fixing. My mom says, I dont know.
I then take it upon myself to find out what "this mechanic" is doing to my car. I walk over to the other house that he's been fixing all the cars at to find out.
I walk over there and say in a demanding tone, "Hello! I've come to audit your work on my car." He rolls out from under the car surprised and sees me and says, "oh this is your car." I then explain yes, but I don't drive it.
It was here where my audit of his work turned out to almost be a little challenge between the two of us. I had a small and I do mean small background of auto mechanics and somehow end up changing out the spark plugs to the car. While doing so, we talked and I got to know "this mechanic."
This is where his somewhat challenges were really him trying to keep me around.
Over then next 2-3 weeks, I found myself coming home from work and going straight to the garage to see him. It wasnt so much the cars, but it was him that I wanted to be around and I didn't care if I had to fix a car to do it. I just wanted to be near him.
He finally builds up the courage to ask me out on a date, and we go to Temple Square after working on the trailblazer for 2-3 weeks.
It was an Autumn Sunday and we went to Temple Square in Salt Lake City and walked. We sat near circle stand where you take pictures right in front of the Temple and watched people walk by, take pictures and this is where we opened up to eachother.
It was almost like, the prayers we had been crying to Heavenly Father were being answered through eachother. This same day, Amoni proposed to me and I froze. I kept asking questions and was beating around the bush but he was focused on his question.
I said yes and we married the following Friday!
This have been very busy and challenging. The adjustment for the two of us and also the kids have been trying. What we like to call, our transition phase. The kids absolutely love Amoni! Amoni absolutely loves them. It can be assumed that it would take a little bit of time for all of us to adjust to these changes.
5 months in and what sums this all up for me is this -
I didn't know you could be this happy.
Now, to add to all this amazing happiness is this -
A week ago today, we walked the grounds of Temple Square together and there opened our souls to each other.
Words spoke, stories told, experiences shared, history stated and above all, the unplanned and unexpected happened - love overtook.
An unexpected life turn came and steered us to our eternal commitment to each other.
I didnt see you coming, but I knew you were him when we spoke
I didn't plan on you, but you came anyway.
I wasn't ready for you, but jumped with you.
Everyone we loved questioned us both, even I did, and with how soon things came to pass, can you really blame the quesitons, no. But we were there for each other to fallback on anyway.
______________________________________________________
Xoxo Via
Early this week I had been thinking about a lot and I mean, its one of those points where I start to just look at all things in my life and weigh out where I am and where I need to go. And these thoughts lead me back to my blog. I thought to myself, I HAVENT WRITTEN IN THE LONGEST TIME!
So here I am checking in as I usually do when I've been MIA for forever.
Anyway, here's where I have been and where I currently am at now.
Kids. Family. Work.
Simple enough right?
Kids, are growing and not only have they grown vertically but theyve also grown horizontally too. hahah This summer has been rough. For me as a mom and keeping up with an actual nutritional meal for them. We've been highly committed to take out and that is why I take full responsibility of their weight gain. (insert face palm emoji girl here.)
Family has been REALLY busy...
June got engaged.
Willy got engaged.
Sunshine & Christina play beach volleyball on a national level.
Tita plays baseball and football for Granger High School.
Koko go baptized yesterday.
Juicy is a little dancer.
June go un-engaged.
Mom and Dad are still die hard working.
mmmmm lets stop there. thats everything in a nutshell since the last time I blogged.
But get this... I havent really missed a step.. Heres what Ive been doing to keep these lovely memories and milestones kept on record cause you know, it matters to me to leave a history of my insanity for my kids to keep for later in life.
I've been VLOGGING! lol actually, its private vlogging, so my youtube videos are completely private until some crazy hacker figures out a way to open all the private videos to the public... theeennnn oh well. lol I havent said anything in my vlog videos that isnt true. So I wouldn't care if that happened. In the meantime, we keepin it private.
Its a different feel, blogging versus vlogging.
But, not only does it give what Im wanting to say, but it also gives visuals, like facial expressions, laughter, tears (yes, its gotten real through the vlog), angry and even vulgarity. I know... there will always be pros and cons with anything and everything we do.
It's my favorite time of year, and we all know how I get when the trees turn fall. I get all in my feelings and simply fall in love. Love, has been quite the topic in my life. No, I'm not dating anyone.. not exclusively anyway... lets just say, I LOVE MY TAMARA AND HENELE with everything I got!
Lets get the festivities rolling! I hope I revisit the blog, if I don't Ill try and be brave and just post a vlog on my blog. lol
Tamara, Henele and I sat in sacrament today and we always play this game called Paperio. Its a challenging game and we take turns after one dies. Anyway, I sat there and while playing my turn, the game would freeze and we would get kicked out of the app all together or when I would make a move, the app wasn't responding with my move causing me to die.
I would still pass the phone as if I really died. I turned to Tamara while she was laughing at me knowing exactly what just happened and I would say, "this game is rigged." lol Me and Tarmara then had a quite extensive talk about what "being rigged" means.
Anyway, my turn came back around and of course, died not on my part. I then closed the app and decided, I'm gonna delete all these non sense games that we don't even play.
Now, Tamara and Henele both got Ipads for christmas. Most of the games on my phone sit dormant anyway cause all these games are now on their ipads. So I sat there deleting all the games that "I thought" were no longer being played.
Nope, I was wrong.
As they watched me delete game after game, I honestly didn't think it was a big deal. Until I deleted THAT GAME!
I turned to Henele who was in FULL ON TEARS! and I mean, trying to catch his breath type of crying. Completely, uncontrollable. I mean, given that we were in the Chapel, we did our best to keep calm. But as I tried to get things under control, I sat there wondering, "what the heck!" They don't even play on my phone anymore. "What just happened?"
I turn to Tamara while trying to sooth Hene and she says, "Mom! He worked hard on that game you just deleted. He's at a far level then he is on his Ipad."
My heart broke after hearing these words.
With me starting at this new job called SPS - Select Portfolio Servicing, I'm still currently in training and will still be for another 2 weeks or so. I think about all the studying and work I've been putting on myself and am quite proud of how far I have come thus far. I sit in this training this class and my coaches had approached me this week basically talking to me about "moving up" because they are impressed with how fast I am learning the job and performing.
I would hate for my hard work to not go unrecognized.
With that being said, I hate that I took away Henele's hard earned work. Yes, it might be a simple little kid game but that's just it. They are kids and they're current level is games. I don't ever want either Tamara or Henele to work hard FOR NOTHING.
So as soon as we got home today, I dropped everything once I got in the house and redownloaded his game and made sure that the game is left off where he had left off at. THANKFULLY it did. I showed it to him to confirm that his game is as it was and told him that I will never delete it again.
Moral of my post today - working hard also comes from playing hard. It doesn't matter how little the task may seem to you compared to someone else. Either way, give credit where it's due and don't allow someone else to rain on the hard work you've done.
Tamara has now been baptized and confirmed a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
It was an event that would change her life. She understands what her new responsibilities are and I can't wait for her to continue to excel in life and for to really start blooming into womanhood.
Henele had a dream last night. He woke up crying and ran to me. He said that there was a dog and bad people that were in our house and if anyone talked, the dog would eat us. I got eaten and so did Tamara. Henele was under the bed and didn't say a word. But what really hit hard on the heart was Henele crying out, "MOM I COULDN'T SAVE YOU! THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD DO!"
Its moments like this that really hit hard for me as a mom. I cried a little but my heart was so full of how he responded in result of how he loves.
In other news, my journey with Sutter Physician Services is coming to an end this Friday. I put in a notice last week and will resign on Friday. I absolutely am grateful for this company and all the knowledge I have obtained while working with them. I have gained many skills and can't wait to take it with me to my new job with SELECT PORTFOLIO SERVICES.
I am excited for the upcoming change and can't wait to see what is in store for me.
In addition to this change. I have picked up and am currently working on a new skill for what I call - my side hustle. I have been studying up on THE FOREX MARKET. It's a very complicated market and trade. But have been studying up on it since this past march. I am still very new to the trade and can't wait to see where it leads me. I do see this as a lifelong side hustle.
Happy Holidays!!! Christmas is just around the corner and I can't wait to take the whole season in! I'm happy with my 2017 overall \but cant wait to BEAST in 2018.
A time to take in all that you've been blessed with and thank the good Lord for it all.
I am super grateful for so many things. As sad as this might sound but one of my top listed would be my divorce. I remember being this happy before and I'm so glad that I was strong enough to take my defeat in a marriage I hoped would last an eternity and really really really found myself. I do still have a lot to learn and grow from. But as of now, I couldn't be any more proud of myself and the decisions that I have made for this year.
Things in my life have come together - again. Back to the single mom life and to honest, I wanna say that I am at my best when I am this way. I don't doubt that my super man is out there but I do know that before he can find me, I do need to find myself. Which I'm working on.
So this Thanksgiving, we will be celebrating in Vegas as a family. I'm excited and can't wait to take a nice little break with my family and kids. It is also the championship of my nephews football team. That's what chose the location. But overall I'm just so excited to take some time off and relax.
It's been quite a busy past few months with the kids in sports, back in school and me still working full time. I'm somehow managing just I did before.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and your loved ones. I hope you find lifes bliss and allow it to change your life for the better.
Day 8 Monday October 30, 2017 = 201.6
pounds (morning weight)
Woke up this morning and weighed
myself at 201.6 and am super happy with where I am at. I look at myself in the
mirror and simply feel good. Even though my number are coming down slow, which
I think should be since I am not working out just yet – I can tell my body is
changing.
Day 9 Tuesday October 31, 2017 = 200.8
pounds (morning weight)
Thinking about all the changes
that have happened with the whole Intermittent Fasting I can say that as of
right now, I feel really good. Those headaches I had at the beginning are gone.
The stinging feel in my nose are now gone. I want to say that my body has now adjusted
to the new changes. The fasting period is now normal to me. I do continue to
stay mentally focused on the timing of my eating window. Overall as of now –
I’m loving this new change.
Day 10 Wednesday November 1 = 200.4 pounds
(morning weight)
So since yesterday was
Halloween, I held out my eating window for 1 hour, up until 7 pm. All for what?
One piece of chocolate. Lol Now I made this chocolate. It’s a recipe I found on
Pinterest. It’s called Keto Chocolate. The ingredients consist of; unsweetened baker’s
chocolate, real butter, heavy cream and stevia. It tasted like chocolate and my
one little piece I ate had satisfied my Halloween sweet tooth cravings. Lol
Today has been good so far. I
did randomly wake up at 3 am and couldn’t go back to sleep which was surprising
cause I was the one walking the kids around the neighborhood doing all the
trick or treating. I wasn’t tired at all and we hit our entire neighborhood
which also surprised me. But yeah, I wasn’t tired, I was just cold. I’m
wondering if my sleep patterns might change now that I have adapted to an 18:6
Intermittent Fasting routine.
Day 11 Thursday November 2, 2017 = 199.4
pounds (morning weight)
I woke up at around midnight and
couldn’t sleep. As I said yesterday, I’m wondering if I’m going through a
sleeping habit change. I stayed up until about 4 am and got a lot of house work
done. I’m feeling good and I’m still going strong on my intermittent fasting. I
don’t feel weary or tired right now even though I had a weird awakening early
this morning. I feel strong both physically and even mentally.
Day 12 Friday November 3, 2017 = 199.4
pounds (morning weight)
Today. I feel good. =)
Day 13/14 Saturday November 4 & 5, 2017
199.2 pounds/198.6 pounds (morning weights)
Alright so this weekend was not
bad at all. The timing and food option was actually completely on point. Saturday
my nephews had championship football games and the games finished about 1 pm.
Which afterward we all celebrated at King Buffet. Now this restaurant is one of
my favorites. I have never loved string beans as much as I did this day. I had
beef and chicken and shrimp also. I was soooo stuffed that I was sure I was
going to gain the following morning. But to my surprise I lost almost a full pound.
I was so ecstatic Sunday morning. I also tested myself to see where I am in
Ketosis and tested in full Ketosis. I was happy about that too.
Sunday was Tamara’s Birthday and
she loves chocolate cake. It wasn’t hard at all refraining from all the sweets
that were around. The only thing that I do need to work on is drinking more
water.
“Second Week was easy
breezy! I really handled this week like a champ and didn’t have any weaknesses
in cravings or over indulging in the foods that I am currently eating. Third
week can Bring It On!”
Not only is this huge to me as your Mom but it is also a major key point in your life as you are about to be Baptized. This point in your life really is important and I hope and pray that as you grow into womanhood you too can incorporate the importance of this milestone in your life. I hope that me as your Mom have done enough to help you reach this step and have prepared you for it also. I am excited for what is to come for you and how you bloom through this phase.
It's not easy glancing back on the past 8 years and all that I've been blessed with you in my life. There are so many memories rushing through my mind right now.
Like the time you said your first word - Mmmm!
Or the time when you took your first steps when we were living the Aunty Kuuipo.
Or the time you had bronchitis and all you could eat was Green Jello.
Or the time you left me and henele to go to Disney Land and for that entire week, Henele cried for you. (that was a trying week for me lol)
Or the time that I almost got into full on brawl at Winco cause some random lady was bullying you.
Or this past Summer when you finally learned to swim.
I can go on and on and on.
Tamara - I credit so much of who I am today: as a mom, aunt, teacher, friend and worker to YOU!
It's because of you that my life became so clear. You really have brought color to my world and I honestly couldn't be any more proud of you and all that you have accomplished thus far in your life.
I am so honored that I get to be your Mommy!
I love you with every bit of me.
And with all that you have taught me and have helped me grow to be, I will do my best to teach it all right back to you so you too can be as good as I have become.
I want you to be able to see the good in others - especially the ones that need it the most, whether they hate you or offend you or challenge you in ways that seem impossible to achieve.
I want you to know that YOU can do it! You can do anything in this world as long as your mind and heart are pure.
Begin Date – Sunday October 22, 2017 @ 12
am (last ate Saturday Night @ 9-10 pm)
First window of eating started
Sunday @ 12 noon and went until 6 pm. I ate ribs, avocado, broccoli and a whole
lot of ranch. Sunday’s eating was not bad. I am not counting calories. My
stomach is telling me when to stop. After ending at 6 pm, just kept myself busy
to get the time going.
Official Day 1 – Monday October 23,2017 207.2
pounds (morning weight)
Window of eating continued the
same. 12 pm to 6 pm. From the hours of 9 till 12 I was super hungry. My stomach
was calling for food. I did have a small headache and you know that feeling you
get when you are upside down and the blood rushes down toward your head and you
feel that sting in your nose, well that’s what I felt a lot of before I started
my eating window and a little bit even after. I do think this is my body
adjusting to the changes I am putting on it.
Day 2 – Tuesday October 24, 2017 203.8
pounds (morning weight)
Window of eating continued the
same. 12pm to 6 pm. The symptoms I felt yesterday morning are similar today
just not as bad. I do have a headache and that sting in my nose is very minimal
compared to yesterday. I do feel a little more alive to be honest. I feel a
little more energy today. For my meal I had pork loin, steamed celery, an
avocado and ranch dressing. I also did eat some strawberries. It is currently
3:30 pm and I’m feeling fine.
Day 3 – Wednesday October 25, 2017 202.0
pounds (morning weight)
It’s 8:30 am and I just got to
work. Thinking hard about last night. From about 4-8 pm (let’s just say the
whole evening) I had a huge headache. I never get headaches in general and I
would say it’s simply cause I strong headed and hard headed. I’m the type that
doesn’t allow shallow thoughts to cloud my judgement. I just don’t. But last
night I had a headache. I hated it. I laid down on the couch and basically
played on my phone cause the kids were not helping the need I had for sleep. So,
I just laid there. Helpless. But snapchat was a good friend that kept me
somewhat entertained.
Work is slow today. I been
sitting for about 15 minutes and no call. I still work for an inbound call
center. But in the comfort of my home is really what makes this job so easy and
so great. I have prepped my meal for my 6-hour eating window. I have a
California veggie blend and some salmon that is currently defrosting. I will
season it in the next few hours.
I’m down 5 pounds since official
day 1 and overall – I’m liking the results, but the adaption is really what
sucks. No headache this morning. I’m hoping it stays this way.
Day 4 Thursday October 26, 2017 201.0
pounds (morning weight)
A few notes I want to jot down
from last night. I was tired. I got off work about 5 pm and went to my niece’s
volleyball game and throughout the game as attentive as I was – I couldn’t stop
yawning. It was weird. I was there, alert and completely lost in the game, yet
I was tired. When my niece scored the winning point kill – I jumped up and
screamed at the top of my lungs and that’s when it really hit me. Major
migraine. It was like, I there was way too much blood in my head that when I
stopped screaming, I had to really stop and think about what was happening in
my head. The stinging was so strong. I downed some water and on my way home I
felt fine. So, I guess I may just not had enough water yesterday, although if I
recall – I had tons of water. Idk. My 12-6-hour window remained the same. I ate
Salmon, veggies and a piece of keto chocolate that I made. It was terrible! I
threw it all away and relooked at the recipe I used, and it was way wrong. I
didn’t put enough sweetener in it. I’ll attempt again here soon.
Day 5 Friday October 27, 2017 201.2
pounds (morning weight)
So today has been quite a good
day. My eating window has remained the same. I don’t have any headaches or any
off or weird symptoms. I honestly feel pretty good. Now with today being Friday
and thinking back on my week, I have not incorporated any physical workouts in –
yet. So with me downing about 6 pounds this week without any working out, lets
give some workouts a try this next week and see what our numbers look like.
Mentally, I’m content. I’m not
like dying in thoughts of carbs and junk food. I actually have simply kept my
mind on the results I want and where I want to be.
This weekend will not hold any
workouts – well I don’t think anyway. But still plan to hold my committed
eating window to remain the same.
Day 6-7 Sat-Sun October 28, 2017 201.6 pounds – Sat / 203.2 pounds –
Sun (morning weight)
Ok. So this weekend was a
challenging and not so challenging weekend. But I first want to go over Friday
night. I got off of work at 4:45 and went with my two brothers to City Creek.
We needed to fix a few broken Iphones at the apple store. So we dropped them
off and they said that the wait time would be about an hour. This is 6 pm and
after my window of eating. My brothers treated Great Steak and I ate a steak
salad. So I actually closed my window of eating about 6:30. I didn’t mind. I
didn’t push my window out a half hour later the following day, I just continued
the committed 12 – 6 window.
For both Saturday and Sunday – I
was able to hold to the committed 12-6 windown and stayed complete keto with my
meals. Now Saturday morning I ate a lot of cheese which is probably why I weighed
203.2 that morning. I have these Ziploc bags of cubed Colby jack cheese that
are like my “carry around snacks” simply cause anytime I leave the house, food
is just about everywhere. So I satisfy my watering mouth with my go to snacks.
-=) But overall – Saturday was great!
Sunday was also great. I ate a
whole lot of sheep with keto ranch and grilled chicken with keto ranch. I haven’t
had a sweet tooth yet which I am surprised with tomorrow being Halloween and
all. I’m refraining just fine from all the candy the kids are obtaining through
all these local Halloween parties and trunk-or-treats.
“Overall – my first
week, I am satisfied. It was rough in the beginning but I want to say that that
was just me adapting to the changes both mentally and physically. I am happy
with the results and can’t wait to see what this weeks challenges bring me.”
Things have simmered down since Tamara's last basketball game for the fall season. Her last game was last Saturday and it went just well. She scored once, not that we even keep score for her playing age group. But because she's my girl, of course I kept count. hahaa
Anyways. Coaching!
Coaching has been SUCH AN EXPERIENCE! There is way more pros then cons and that goes for the opportunity I had to coach Pre-K/Kindergarten and 1st/2nd graders. The two groups respond completely different but the fact that they are all just kids really did make my experience oh so much better.
I do have to admit - when walking into the Rec Center and the Staff sees me and yells, "Hey! Wassup Coach!" - I felt super cool. =)
Soccer is way more fun then basketball. Soccer was so simple and the kids had no issue following instructions but were WAY easily distracted. lol I remember joking with one of my sisters saying that our favorite play for soccer was - Stop chasing the butterflies! This soccer team has seriously been the best. I couldn't have had a more fun experience in this journey then being the coach for this little soccer team.
Leo - Leni - Isaiah - Hene
Now basketball on the other hand was little more challenging. One thing I learned about the ages of 1st grade/2nd grade is that they are harder to instruct and discipline. They have a different type of attitude when things don't go there way and they cry more. lol You would think I would be the other way around between the two age groups I coached but no. It was hard to simply explain that they have to work. That by itself. It's like a lot of them wanted to be an all star on the court without putting in hard work.
I had one player in particular that was so trying for me. He was the one that worked so hard but when things didn't work out in his favor, he would cry and get mad. There was so many times that he was fall to the ground and play the injured card even though he wasn't. This taught me a whole new kind of patience. I don't deal with this type of stuff with Tamara and Henele because that's just how I've diciplined them. But this is strictly basketball and I really had to be mindful of other parents and how they are upbringing their kids. So this type of patience really taught me some real empathy in the aspect of a mother. I don't judge other mothers and how they are bringing up their kids but when it reflect the outcome of my ability to coach, I felt I sometimes had to step in with "pep talks."
May have been challenging but it was definitely a learning point for me also.
Wesley - Sabdi - Tamara - Abram - Agustino
Overall, coaching has been amazing and absolutely loved the opportunity to coach my kids in their first sport seasons. Going forward, if I feel up to it, I do want to continue to coach. But for now, I think I will let others take care of the job. Not because this past round was too much for me but simply because I predict a few personal life changes occurring here in the near future and I want to make sure I can accommodate their sports lives with these predicted changes.
I'll save these changes for another post on another day.
The world is beginning to turn on it's axis.
The world is becoming cold.
The crisp fall wind hits the tip of my nose and turns pink.
The sun shines all the while.
The sound of wrestling leaves as they fall to the ground.
The taste of pumpkin and smell of honeysuckle.
The time of year that I call love.
So, I ran into this quote.
One day it just clicks.
You realize what's important and what isn't. You learn to care less about what other people thnk of you and more about what you think of yourself. You realize how far you've come and you remember when you thought things were such a mess that you would never recover.
And you smile.
You smile because you are truly proud of yourself and the person you've fought to become.
Makes sense right?
I honestly couldn't be more proud of myself then where I currently stand in life. I've found life's bliss - again. When I felt like life was just crewl and I felt so helpless, as hard as I fought to simply give "what I though" was what my kids needed. It took me a little while to finally grasp that fact that not everyone's happily ever after is fighting to keep a family complete. But living life happily. Even if it means letting go.
I know I've talked about this a few times. But I wish I can put words to blog to really express how incredible I feel. How absolutely in-love with life I am.
I have a friend at work that struggles the same that I once did and think back on it, and am just so proud of all of it. Of trying a second time. Of filing my second divorce. Of simply - still going.
I'm proud of myself and can't wait to see what life has in store for me next. =)
I had been talking with this guy right? He's - whats the word? Driven.
He's constantly looking for ways to progress or move up in life. Talking, meaning, well going in a progressing direction I guess you could say. I don't know where it will go or if it will even go anywhere, not trying to sound cynical. I'm just in a place in my life where I'm simply happy re-finding myself. That's all.
Anyway, this guy has been so supportive of me and my decisions in life down to my daily tasks even. Just a big ball of positivity. Because of the type guy he is, he's sort of rubbed off on me and I've found myself doing things that I never thought I would be doing today.
Let's begin.
I was at work one morning, maybe last month. Just as school started for the kids. And it honestly came to me clear as the day. I was thinking about the kids and the new changes to our daily schedules with them going back to school. I've been dying to find a consistent gym routine that I know I can stick to and as I sat and thought about it all. The idea of "work from home" came to mind.
When I thought of it, it's like it wasn't even a question. It was a matter of how fast can I get home. This has always been an option with Sutter but I had this idea at work that I would work super hard and just promote to a high position and fast. But that isn't the case and life outside of work really plays a big part in work itself. They go hand in hand and need a really good balance. I've worked hard thus far with sutter since going full time back in february. My stats are meeting and I have no issue knowledge base. So I put in my request to work from home and it was approved this past week.
This is my little office space I've created in the back house for me to work from home. I am currently just waiting on my equipment to be delivered to me at work so I can bring it home and set it up and basically do it all from home.
Let's also add that Henele is playing soccer and Tamara is playing Basketball. The past few months have really been hard for me as a mom, they gotten a little chubby and you know me and my constant trying to get and stay fit. Well, they were growing in ways that I didn't want them to. lol So I signed them up for rec league sports and when I did, I offered the rec to be a parent volunteer. I was asked to come to the coaches meeting and I was all excited cause I figured going to this meeting I could persuade the coaches into a practice schedule that was accommodating for me and my work schedule. lol I get to the meeting only to find out that - IM THE HEAD COACH. lol and get this, I'm the head coach for both Hene and Tamara's team. lol
It's been a few weeks since soccer started and it's been going so good. I know nothing of the sport but after our first few games, I absolutely love soccer. I love hene playing it. I love running up and down the field with them. I love being active along side with him right there on the field. I feel soooo complete and happy. =)
Here's a little snippet of one our games last week.
With me coaching both teams, they've made sure our game schedules are scheduled so they don't overlap.
This morning we had our fist double game day. Hene's game was at 9 and Tamara's was at 10. Henel's games run close to an hour so right after soccer we run straight into the gym to get warmed up for basketball.
After today's double game day, I honestly felt sooo accomplished, tired, overwhelmed and inadequate all at the same time. The pressure of feeling like parents are hounding you because their kid isn't in playing is the hardest part.
Our weekly schedule goes like this.
Monday - sport break - homework/school
Tuesday - soccer game - homework/school
Wednesday - Basketball practice - homework/school
Thursday - Soccer practice - homework/school
Friday - sport break - homework/school
Saturday - double game day
Sunday - 24 hour sleep (with the exception of church)
This is what it will be like for the next few weeks up until jr jazz starts. jr jazz is a winter sport and I'm hoping both of them can be signed up for jr jazz. (without me being the coach of course.)
Well, there you have it.
Via is tired and busy and I'm simply LIVING. lol I love life right now. I couldn't be happier. Well I could but where I am at currently, it's great.
We all know I love the fall season. This is the season, my heart really beats. I can't wait to see how this all works out. Working from home.coaching and even thinking about getting involved with the PTA at school with a little bit of incorporating couponing back into the game.
If you dont hear from me in the next few weeks, clearly I'm busy. Life just took a major twist on me. lol
It's been a long ass time since I've felt this good consistently.
Key word - constant.
Since I made the choice to leave Leroy, it's like everything is finally right. Everything is back in order and I feel like I can take on anything.
I remember when we were still together, I had his help with the kids and things seemed to be manageable for the kids. But there was honestly I time where I sat and thought, "how in the hell did I do all that I did when I was a single mom!" I remember feeling overwhelmed at a point and we were in a pretty good position.
Now - It all makes sense.
I want to say, you can honestly take on the heaviest of loads single hand without any interruption or issue when things in your life are simply in order.
Now that Leroy is not longer a factor in our everyday living, I feel like I can take on the world.
I feel that motivation, that adrenaline. And looking back on when I was questioning it all - I now understand.
With that be said and explained.
I am still going strong with Sutter Health in the Billing Department. I've made a few changes to my path.
I have put in a request to work from home. I stayed in the office simply to try and promote and move up but I feel like I have plateaud and there are a few too many people that are just seniority to me that it would take me some time to get to the next step up which is a lead.
So, I want to work from home. I will still remain full time and I will even do my best to pick up overtime hours on saturday and sunday to make some extra money.
In addition to working full time, I plan to be as involved as I possibly can in the academics. I want to be part of the PTA Staff at the school and help out as best I can to keep in line with the kids at school.
While we are at it, we are also going to add EXTRA curriculum and Henele will be playing flag football while Tamara plays Basketball this fall where I also plan to help coaching basketball.
THIS is what it was like when I was divorced the first time. I felt like I could take on the world and it honestly feels like I am capable of doing so.
I'm just simply happy that I am finally in a good place in my life along with the kids.Now all that left is finding my one true love lol and taking on the world together.
In the meantime, lets take on this fall season like a boss ayyyee??
First Day of School!! Can you believe it? Tamara is now in the Second Grade and Henele will be in Kindergarten!
Please allow me a few minutes to cry.
Im just having one of those mommy moments.
Tamara is the oldest going to school so her responsibilities just jumped up high. Henele and Nauleni are both in Kindergarten and in different classes. So making sure they are in the right line when the school bell rings and finding them after school to go wait by the flag pole for someone to pick them up is now her job.
Im honestly excited for the school year. I plan to be a thousand times more involved in their school plans, education and classes. Last year was a little difficult to say the least givin a lot of my focus was elsewhere. But now that things are falling back into place, they will have a so much better mom involved in their school lives.
Tamara and Henele,
I am super proud of both of you. I know things have been a little hard on you guys with your dad and I splitting, but do know that regardless of our differences, it does not change the unconditional love we have for you two. Me more then him, lol. =) With the new school year starting, I vow to do my best to help you each and everyday to help you succeed in scholar.
I love you both sooo very much. I can't wait to see what this school year has in store for you both. Let's take on the new year head strong and take it on Day by Day.
Forever, Mommy.
Tonight as I got the kids in the house to get them to bed and everything, Henele walks into the room and says, "mom, I can do the prayer." Talk about parent winning moment. It really opened my eyes and brought warmth to my heart knowing that the basics are right there with them. =)
Last thing I wanted to post for the night is this.
2 Days ago, Judge Faust signed off on my divorce. I am officially Via Langi again. Yes, it's a sad ending but I like to look at things glass-half-full and this is really the beginning to a new start. A fresh start at life and how {{I}} want to live it.
