They Do The Darndest Things!

So I went out yesterday and left my two little kiddies with my Mom. Oh how I love my Mom! If I could ever one day live up to her level, that would be a great accomplishment for me! She's set the bar really high and I'll forever keep it as a life long goal of my own. GO MOM! lol

I came home last night and my Mom was telling me that Tamara ran up to her saying, "Mickey, Mickey!" lol My Mom laughed and replied, "Mickey is sleeping Tamara." (aww shucks!) So then what does Tamara do and say might you ask? She walks to the big screen and puts her ear against the tv and whispers, "Mickey, wake up." haha When my Mom rein-acted it to me, I laughed so hard I woke up Hene. And it wasn't even cause of what Tamara had done, it was more cause of the way my Mom had acted it out. She's too funny!

What I hate the most is when Tamara makes a big mess with whatever is around and when I yell, "TAMARA!" she runs up to me and rubs my arm saying, "Sorry Mom." She knows very well what she is doing and when she does make big messes OH SHE KNOWS that doing it is wrong. It just gets me every time with the rubbing of the arm and the "Sorry Mom" response. I get so mad for a second after seeing what she does and that little "Sorry Mom" gets her off the hook EVERY TIME cause I can't hold in my laugh.  

I know there will be late night cleanings, constant thoughts of whats next on the agenda, when is their next appointment, did I pick up their prescriptions?, what did they eat?, trying hard to prepare for the next day to make it as easy as possible when I know it'll just be another late nighter.. all the "little" things us Moms do. They may come with laughs, cries, and a whole lot of frustrations but for me there is one thing that makes all this "extra" work well worth it....

   

The sight of my kids sticking together!

Living The Abundant Life

"The greatest revolution of our generation, is the discovery that Human Beings, by changing their inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives."
-William James, a pioneering American phycologist and philosopher

Big word, Attitude! It's funny how some small alterations to our attitudes can change so much.

Tamara and "attitude" get along VERY WELL! lol She screams at the top of her lungs, she cries for endless minutes, she bosses EVERYONE around and when I say everyone, I really do mean everyone. The other day she kicked my sister Leslie (who is I believe 26 years old) off the computer so she could watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse videos on youtube, she has temper tantrums equivalent to lets say an overflowing daycare center filled with ALL 2 year olds haha, and I don't even want to get to her "fight"... girl is a beast! haha

But regardless of all that attitude, I honestly don't mind one bit! Discipline will happen. Fact. She's just too young to understand. I figured I'd let her and her attitude run it's course and soon enough, she'll be find her manners. Cause if she doesn't find them later on, MOM WILL! haha..

Hene. He definitely has his dad's temper. FOR SURE. He's not even 2 months old and I swear the other night when I had gone to make him a bottle and picked him up to give it to him, he fought back with me. I laughed so hard cause it reminded me of his dad. But just like fights with his dad, I always win. lol

Now me and my attitude. I think after all that's been going on, my attitude has totally been "checked"... I feel like I've found inner peace. Literally. I've taken things in little by little and have now reached ACCEPTANCE. I have to keep my mind on the future. It keeps me stable. Cause I know that I'm in control of the future and what happens are things that I can prepare for. I try not to dwell on my past, it hurts too much. But I feel that the only way I know I've finished that chapter of my life is if I can think back on it and not let it hurt me. I accept it. Instead of feeling down in the dumps about it, I'm gonna smile. Without it, I wouldn't be as strong as I am now.

Our Prophet Thomas S. Monson wrote an article in the January Ensign entitled Living the Abundant Life. I love it. He goes on about ABC's we need to follow.

A - Attitude: Have a positive Attitude.

B - Believe: Believe in yourself and those around you

C - Courage: Face challenges with courage

Simple enough right? Well, I believe that because I'm so in tune with the spirit and have returned to the basics of the gospel, I'm successful and that for me will be enough to get me and my kids by. I couldn't ask for anything more.

Back On Track!

So while everyone in my high school class is now graduating with either their associates or bachelors degree. I'm just barely starting. But better late then never is what I like to say.

I'm not all that picky with what id like to pursue as far as a career choice goes. So I sort of figured that if I'm gonna go back to school, I'm gonna get a degree in something where I know I could get a job that pays good and fast! Lol

I've decided that I'm going back to get my NURSING degree! Yay-yah! What's great about it is that I would be working directly with people (which I absolutely love), there is a high demand for nurses and nurses will ALWAYS be needed. I'm happy with my choice! =)

Ill be testing this upcoming week to get into the CNA program. And while I work on getting my CNA, ill be taking courses at slcc to get into the NURSING program. Studies show that slcc has the best nursing program so I lucked out with that.

I'm excited to go back and get it done. I've wasted the past 3 years on a sorry marriage. I wish I could've at least been smart about staying in school.

School is cool people! Lol

Now on to another note in my life.

Do you think someone can be so blind to think they lost something when they had that same kind of something all along? That might be a little confusing. Let's say for example, you have a tv. This tv works great, high definition, just your ordinary tv. Now, you then lose this tv and you're bawling your eyes out thinking, "what am I gonna do without my tv?" Lol and all along you have one in the other room, just waiting for you to go waste time in front of. HA! That was a dumb analogy. But whatever. I hope you catch my drift.

I watched The Notebook the other night with a friend. Well this friend and I were actually on the phone, we weren't technically side by side. But we both watched the movie at the same time and talked on the phone. Mainly about the movie and any thoughts or comments we had.

I tell myself that I need me a 'Noah' in my life. But am now thinking that I might have already had a Noah all along. My whole tv analogy is a total bust now huh?

We watched the movie, laughed and cried. Its such a good movie! Something I love that Noah says in the beginning of the movie that I will never forget...

"I've loved another in my life. And for me, that was always enough."

That line totally caught my attention. I smiled.

As great as all this sounds and especially feels. I pull back. I hesitate. I second guess. And I only have one question that I truly wish I had the answer to, and that's Will I get hurt again?

and yet another I DON'T KNOW! (Just great).. totally rolled my eyes after writing that. Lol

And really at the end of the day, I'm just not ready. I want to enjoy just being me and loving my kids.

Who says a woman can't do it on her own? Remember that.

I will be the one to prove them wrong. =) No doubt.

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New Phone, New Way To Blog!

This is a test. Now because I love to blog, I"ve now activated "blogger-droid" to my new phone! If only I had my laptop, I wouldn't have to do it this way.

Stupid Baby Daddy smashed it! (Annoying of my life)

Anyways

My family has made it a 2012 year long goal to attend the temple at least once a week. They go every Saturday morning. I stay home with all the kids. Well the "younger" monster crew at least which includes Tamara, Coco, Luseane and Henele. The "older" monster crew which includes Christina, Teta, Sunshine and Jay are all at the yellow house.

Now just so I don't confuse you on the "yellow" house. Let me go ahead and explain all that.

So recently my parents have decided to "monopolize" We have "The BIG House" which is my parents house. What us 7 kids call HOME. Then there is "The BACK House" which is my parents guest house, its where me and my kids reside. I love it cause its a perfect size for me and my two kids. Its seperate from the Big House and has all the basic necessities we need to live on our own. Not to mention the fact that it also comes "rent free" THANK YOU MOM AND DAD! Now to my parents (and us kids) most recent new purchase, "The Yellow House." The yellow house is right behind The Big house so the backyards touch eachother. We actually tore down the fence that once divided the two houses for easy access to either house. Its perfect for me cause I'm smack down in the middle of the two. =)

I've learned so much from my parents and they "hustle"... its really simple how they do it all. Its a little something called HARD WORK! I totally envy them for there hard works. My mom runs on 2 hours of sleep a day and that's normal to her. She is always finding something to do. It used to annoy me so much that we were constantly working as kids from sun up to sun down. But looking at it from a moms perspective. Its truly a blessing the way they brought us up. I wouldn't have had it any other way and Ill do the same for my kids.

Well it would suck if my new blogger-droid app didn't work cause I feel like I've been writing forever. Huge difference between my phones keyboard and typing on a computer. The difference of 8 more fingers to be exact. Lol

Let's hope blogger-droid passes the test! =)

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Life is for Living

My friend tells me, "Change your thoughts and you can change your world." I tend to say that to myself a lot these days.

I'm a Zac Efron fan. More so in love with the dude! lol But anyway, I watched this movie last night after my kiddies fell asleep. Thinking about how long it took Charlie to move on from the loss of his brother, I ask myself if that could be me. Could I dwell on the loss of my marriage, the loss of my family being whole for that long? Charlie found something to help him move on and that was Tess. Now if I had someone like Tess in my life just waiting and I was too stubborn to give it a chance, I don't know if I'm holding on to my past or just simply too scared.

I don't know?

I hate that question, I don't know?.. I say it over and over and over again. If I was to be charged 10 cents for every time I asked that, someone would be rich! My life right now, I'm still playing catch with Sami in the woods. I just hope I don't play catch with him for 5 years like Charlie did.

The moral of the movie which by the way I love that they put it on the cover is, "Life is for Living."

I've lived A LOT of life in just the past 4 years of my life. I've even created more life. lol But anyways if there's one thing that I'm determined to do without any "I don't knows" its that I will live my life for me and for my kids! nuff said! =)

2 Years Later..

So today Tamara had her 2 Year Doctors appointment. Where did the time go? I keep saying over and over again ever since she was born that she is growing waaayyy too fast! I try and enjoy every minute of it, whether good or bad cause life comes with both.

When ever we go places it never fails that Tamara will kick her shoes off in the car, so I had to prop her on the car and put them back on.

She knows better then to walk around a parking lot/streets without holding my hand so she stood there and waited for me to come back and grab her hand. But I just had to take a picture!
 

 

Tamara didn't want to make new friends so she stood to the side and watched the miko girls color there pretty pictures. 

Then Nurse Christina came and got us and  after getting in her weight and height and all that good stuff she sat down and played with a toy in the Doctors Office.

She did such a great job when Dr. Vierra came in and took a look at her. I promised her that I would get her a special treat!

As far as her growing goes, she is doing just great. Ranked in the 96 percentile! I love when Dr, Vierra tells me that she is growing great, it makes me feel like I'm doing my job as a Mom. Proud Mom moments!

Took her to the store and got her the "special" treat.

Had a lot of quality time with my girl! I loved it!

Weekend Full of Memories!

So Saturday was full of lots and lots of organizing and cleaning! Yup! My sister had given me 4 HUGE tubs full of baby boy clothes a couple months ago and I am now going through it all. She also gave me a car seat and a crib. Aki and Chester have really helped out me and my little family with Henele's basic necessities. HUGE THANK YOU TO THEM! All of that sorting and cleaning took up a good half of our Saturday.

Later that day we prepared for Sunday. Sunday (yesterday) Henele was getting his Baby Blessing! I was so excited! So decided to have a little party with just me and my two kids! Since Tamara has a cough I didn't want to take them out, plus the snow finally decided to show up this year and I didn't want her to get any more sick then she already was. So we stayed in, I pulled out the coloring books, the toys, popped the popcorn, I even jumped on the bed with her cause I know how much that makes her happy. Thank goodness I didn't break the bed. lol

After all that huffing and puffing lol I finally got them settled down for MOVIE NIGHT! Tamara chose UP! Fantastic movie! An adventure for the kids, but for me, it's a romance. True story! =)

Woke up Sunday morning and got the kids ready for church. Twas a chaotic morning for Mom! =)

My first time getting my son ready in church clothes. I cried. Thoughts and feelings crept back from things that Leroy is putting him through. A life without "his" dad. I am very blessed to have so many brothers to help "father" my son though. So for every down there is always an up.

Then getting Tamara ready was where all the chaos came in. Can you tell by the picture? She just wasn't havin it that morning. Then I warmed her up a corn dog with some little fishies on the side and she was all better. Nothing heals a pouting Tamara better then those fishies! THANK YOU FISHIES! lol

 Don't remember the last time I got the chance to doll myself up, well "try" at least. And after having two kids, and shuffling them alone, I'm sure it will be a long while before I actually get to try and put myself back together. But at least I tried right?

Henele's Blessing went very well. Nothing big, like how other polynesian families do. I like it small and simple. In Hene's circle stood Dad (grandpa), Mone, Himinai, Chester and Bishop Moli. I couldn't have picked a better bunch of Men. THANK YOU!

Leroy showed up. After the blessing of course. Some things never change. He did go up and bare his testimony, which scared me a little cause a week ago we had gotten in a fight and I told him not to come to his blessing and he replied to me saying that he was gonna be there and that he was gonna bare his testimony and talk all this crap about me. He didn't though. Thank goodness cause you know with him when it comes to his threats. He went on about how his family is the most important thing to him. I didn't once look up at him. I stared down at my hands in disappointment. Not of him. Of myself and how I chose such a bad person to have my kids with.

I know he will hurt. It might not hurt him now but it will hit him eventually that the decisions he's made in that past 4 months are ones that he will regret. He's lost family. I won't turn back. I told him over and over again, me and the kids can't sit around and wait for him to change. So I had to let him go. I think it would've killed him if I kept him and held on to our marriage.

He did help me carry Hene out to the car afterward and gave me a hug. That was something I never thought would happen ever again. It didn't mean anything to me though. I'm getting over all the hurt feelings he's left me with, and when I look at him all I can think to myself is that he is really a lost sheep. I don't know if anything or anyone can help him find his way back. I hope the best for him.

Later on... we had my oh so favorite, CHINESE FOOD for our little get together. And boy was there more than enough! THANK YOU TAUSINGAS AND MALAEULUS AND MOM! My family is paying for everything for me and my kids until his child support kicks in and I find a job. I wish he would help out more on the money part. But oh well.

That night.. We all sat down and played scattergories! That game is soooo fun! I love family game nights! They definitely help keep our family in tune with each other. Said prayer as one big family and we off to our own dwellings.

Overall, great weekend!