When Two Worlds Collide

It is now going on mid-march and I still have not yet missed one week of visiting the Temple. It's quite an accomplishment really, to be so focused on the work and keeping those that have passed on deep in thought and in heart while doing their work for them in this life. The way I see it is, every week as I head to the Temple, its either a sunset or a sunrise I see. Meaning, early morning or evening time. And as I look out as I greet or farewell the sun, I picture beautiful faces in the background of the sun and imagine that it is that person looking down on me smiling. The person I will be doing the work for that day. I see them saying, "Thank You for taking the time to help me get through." And every time I imagine that person, I smile and say, "I'm on my way to help!" It's a sort of warm up thing I do to welcome the spirit into my mind and heart so I can really grasp the work I'm about to do.

Now, as I leave the Temple. I do the same thing. I look up into the sky and I see them so happy to be able to be part of this gospel and I wish them their very best in all they do in the next life. Doing this makes me feel really good inside. A greater feeling then getting good grades or accomplishing something I've set my mind to for so long. And I think that's what makes doing the work so worth it. Those small moments before and after the Temple.

This is the Draper, Utah Temple. Pretty right?

Well, I went to this Temple for the first time with my Sisters and unfortunately, feelings were different. Questions arose. I became confused and worried. I cried. As I asked my questions to Loisi, I could tell that her responses were the regular [everything will be ok] type answers but I could totally tell behind those responses that she really had no clue.

I'm a single mom. I have two kids. I am not sealed to them.

Before I move on, I want to explain why all these feelings and questions came about. Every week, we usually do a session. There are three different tasks you can do. A session, Sealings and Initiatory. This was my first time doing [Sealings]. This is why all these questions came up.

So, lets just imagine a small family just like mine that has passed on. We'll say they lived in the 1800's. A single mom with her two little kids. The father has been sealed to his new wife and kids. What happens to this family? How do we do work for them on this earth? or Do we? Are they put aside for later? What's the process? Does she see her kids in the next life?

I don't know why, but I feel abandoned. I feel like others like me that have passed on are abandoned. I'm sure there is a process that I don't know about. I just felt so abandoned as I helped other families become sealed to one another. What about me and my kids? I use my time and talents as asked to help build the kingdom. I pay my tithing. I put in my work. So what about me?

So, I've turned to really searching the scriptures. I've looked up talks from the past general conferences with the topic of Family Sealings. I need to know. I need to find out whats in store for me and my family.

I guess for now, I'm just gonna stick to what I've been doing and try to put aside all these harsh feelings and questions and hope that someone can explain it to me so I dont feel so glum.

And if I never find answers, then at least those that can be helped will get my help.