Am I too late for that? haha I remember a time when I was posting once or twice a day and then it dwindled to once a week, now I'm pretty much at once a year. lol
It's not that I've forgotten about my, I've actually written and re-written this post quite a few times cause I really don't know where to start or how, to update. I know right, lame.
First lets throw out the bigger bombs...
Back in December..... I left Leroy.
I know, I know, hold the applause. It's been quite the journey for the past few months of being under wraps. Not that I'm hiding. I just have needed my own space, you know what I mean. With a decision quite this big given our past, I think I would be worried if I didnt take a little break from it all.
So lets rewind.
Things had spiraled downward with him when we moved out to our own place. The freedom of being out on our own, taking on the world and simply having the ability to do whatever seemed to appeal to his own wants. I mean, boys will be boys, yes, but this was a whole different level that I just couldn't get a grip on how out of control things had gotten. So I wouldn't say that me walking was me giving up cause if I'm being completely honest, I really in my heart of hearts tried my hardest to hold it down and keep it together. But you can't really force someone to be or do something they don't want to, so I walked.
I absolutely love Leroy. I always will. But us together in that sense is just not a good thing. After going on months of being separated, I have finally decided to make it final. Mind you, this is our second marriage at trying to keep our family together. I really needed the time to make sure this is what I truly want. So a few weeks ago, I have filed my divorce and am now ready to take on the world on my own, with my kids under my wing of course. lol
I don't regret any of it. Not at all. I'm glad I married him again, even though it didn't last because after our marriage ended the first time, I remember wishing I would've tried harder and that if I ever had the chance to do it again, I would most certainly give it my all. So this second round was my all. And although it didn't end successfully "together", I have no doubt that it can still end successfully apart.
Closing this chapter in my life is bittersweet but also renewing. It's like I've been given another chance at starting over. Leroy and I get along so much better apart anyway.
I won't lie, it would've been nice to give my kids the life I dreamed of with the whole "family" aspect of it. But sometimes, life throws you a curve ball, you have to be able to adjust and be ready for these change ups.
For the past few months, I 've been focusing on mostly myself. I have been working out and have found my release is found with running with my headphones in. I feel unplugged from the world and it's just me. It gives me a place that I can just let go of negative things.
I'm tons more positive these days and feel like I have found life's true Bliss.
I continued my membership with Vasa Fitness and the days there are no available spots for the kids, I take them to the park and just do what I can there. The kids find it more fun this way anyway. We had stopped by Liberty Park to get in some running and some scootering. lol Then after we fed the ducks. This was tons of fun.
I can't wait to update the kids, things have changed a lot with them. =)
XOXO Via
