"People are often unreasonable, irrational and self centered; forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies; succeed anyway. If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you; be honest and sincere. What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight; create anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous; be happy anyway. The good you do today, will often be forgotten; do good anyway. Give the best you have and it may never be enough; give your best anyway. In the final analysis, it is between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway." - Mother Theresa

Saturday, January 26, 2013

The Bucket List

So, in one of my past recent entries, I said I'd share my life's bucket list. Others may refer to it as "life long goals" but whatev, same smell.

My list consists of 100 things. But today I will share my first 20. =) So, not in any particular order, here goes nothing.

(Who doesnt want to visit this place right? Mall of America!!!)
1. I want to shop till I drop at this place!!

2. Meet Buddy at his Bakery and request a "special" cake made by him!!
3. Christmas in NEW YORK
Now it's pretty standard in my family that Christmas will always be at [home]. But just once in my life. I want to take the kids to New York and experience the [big city]. Which brings me to 4.
4. Yes! I want to watch a Broadway show!! I think the closest I've gotten to a broadway show is the annual Nutcracker here in Salt Lake and that's ballet. lol
5. I want to run a triathlon!! I want to do one this summer so if I train hard enough and really stay focused, this one can get a lovely check mark! =)
6. I want to swim with dolphins!! Lol seriously. I bet Tamara would be totally fine with this cause she loves fish!! When my dad comes home with a cooler full of fish from his day at the lake, Tamara has no problem with grabbing at them and hold them. lol Me, on the other hand, am not the very best. But I've always wanted to swim with dolphins. So hopefully one day!
7. This one's a given, and is already in progress. I want to graduate. I want to be a nurse and I want to do my best! [success]
8. To walk the Great Wall of China!! This has so much world history to it. I would one day, love to visit this place!! This can also be considered my [travel the world] part. I would only pick few places to visit in this world. Not sure if I can be away from home so many times, so I only have a select few.
9. This one is also in progress. But to write a book can take a lot of time and research. But I want to write a book that is so epic, it can change the world. [ya right?]
10. Now, before they run out of [childhood] I want Tamara to meet Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Goofy and all the Disney Characters. She's absolutely in love with Disney and not to mention the new Sophia the first. She loves that princess. If I can one day take them here and have a special lunch set up for Tamara with Sophia, omg. I would be the happiest Mom!!
11. If you can't tell by now, I love to talk. I'm not afraid to give a speech and I have no problem communicating with others. One thing I want to do, is give a motivational speech at a University! Help students stay motivated and keep focus on why they are in school and the outcomes of a students hardwork.
12. Did I tell you guys I [coupon]. Well, I do and will never again pay full price for anything! That's absolute nonsense! So, for this part, I want to get so good at couponing that I can potentially make my debut on this crazy show!
13. For cute!!!! I want a dog for the kids! We've had a good number and [variety] of pets growing up like a dog, a cat (i think), a rooster, a chicken, a bunny and ya thats it. Oh ya, a hamster too. But they have been pets from my childhood. I want a family dog for the kids. One that is super cute as a puppy and grows up to be a super big dog! =)
14. Chinese Lanterns have always amazed me. I hear they are expensive if you purchase them, but I've also ran into a couple DIYs on pinterest. So, I want to light and let go of a chinese lantern and make it one of my family traditions, where we let the birthday [person] make a wish and let it go and do one as a family every new years eve as we set new family and personal goals. =)
15. Something a little similar to the lanterns. Just that fact that we let them fly away. But something I've seen done in the past and think it's such a great idea. Is when you sit down and write out your testimony. Your thoughts about the gospel and anything you would say to a [non member]. After writing it down, folding it up and putting it into the balloon, then inflating it with helium and simply letting it go and hoping it reaches to someone searching for the truth. I missed out on the opportunity of serving a mission so I like to find other ways I can still spread the gospel with the way my life is. 
16. Find True Love!! It's not the best being single but I've found ways of dealing with it. And most of it is with the kids. But if another chapter happens to open up to me, I want it to be real. I want it to be so real that I feel like I'm living in a fantasy.
17. My dream car!! Not exact but let me tell you, I am a sucker for these oldn' day cars! I love them! I have cargasms when I see one. lol Did I really just say cargasm? My vocab needs a check! lol But yes. I would love to own one of these in my day and hopefully pass it down to my posterity and hope that they will find an appreciation for this car! Like a family heirloom.
18. His voice seriously makes me melt! [More then words] will always be my ALL TIME fave! I have so many though, but this song by far tops it off. So, I would love to hear him sing this in person, preferably to me. lol #frankiej
19. This one is actually very personal. But I really really really really [x's a gizillion] want to be sealed to the kids for all time and eternity. If that chapter of love opens, it can only be done with the help of Leroy. I doubt he would let the kids be sealed to another man but I think if he truly cares for them he will do whats best for the kids.
20. Every Thanksgiving, I think of the homeless. Just a habit of mine. But I want to go to the homeless shelter and help feed the homeless on thanksgiving. =) What better way to start off the holiday season then to help the less fortunate.  

Well there you have it. My bucket list. Hope I didnt bore you to death. But these are some things that I want to do in my lifetime. =) 




Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Everything Is Right

So, it's a new semester and school is tough. I sit in class and as the professor gives there highly unplanned lessons I like to see the different personalities in the different classmates that I have. And I have to say, I'm not sure if everyone is being who they really are. You know what I mean? I hear them say one thing but do another. One girl shared what her major is and in another class we have together she shared a different major. I'm not saying she's a liar, she actually does happen to be a twin, but the same one in two of my classes. Others just say things that seem to be unreal. idk. Maybe I've just harbored myself so much outside of society that I'm the one that out of it.

Anyways, what I'm trying to get at is, being true to who you are.

For the past [while], I've been contemplating on me. What is it with me that makes me who I am? What's my purpose in life? What is my plan? And I think after going through all that I have settling with the single mom status and the divorce and shuffling the kids. I can now say, I am exactly where I should be. Everything right now is soo right! I'll just be doing random things and I'll stop and my insides are just [happy]. Even though I've already complained about doing too much and how overwhelming things are. On top of all of that, I find myself managing. I can do it. I literally can do it.

There is one thing that I absolutely look forward to. Something that I do every week and havent failed one week since the year started. And that's going to the temple. My heart yearns for it. Even though it's the same thing each and every week when I go there, I tend to find or hear something new that catches my attention and I feel like I'm slowly putting together the pieces of everything. Why some things are the way that they are or why some things are in a certain order. It all comes together for me with understanding. I love it! I love to go to the temple!

Home visiting. I have 4 sisters I go visit every month and this is my first month where I find it very important to do. And I'm sure as the year goes on, I will get into the habit of visiting every month. I went to visit one sister and after that visit, the spirit I felt was so great. It was that feeling you get when you have thing big goal you want to accomplish and when you do, you get that [success] feeling inside. Things that were discussed in that visit were things that I really needed. She's such a great sister and I'm glad I get to go visit her.

Isnt this picture such motivation. I love it and along with that quote. Now even though I've set goals in the past and talked about how I'm going to lose this amount or this many inches. I now, [DO NOT] care. I am who I am. I'm not saying being overweight is a good thing, but what I am saying is that if it means that much to you, it will happen one way or another without having to compromise other priorities. So, if I get a chance to go zumba with my sisters or go to golds gym or even the gym at school, then great. If not, that still great. I just dont indulge in everything that I eat. I eat very well, lol but I keep an eye on what I am eating and making sure that my body is nourished correctly and that I'm eating enough for my body to get by. I see people that are overweight and wish that I could help them, even if I dont know them. I debated on becoming a personal trainer and nutritionist. But I know I want to be a nurse far more! There is a triathalon that I plan on doing this summer! A tri consists of running, biking and swimming. I have a long list for my bucketlist and I will share it with you one of these days. =)


A couple pictures of the kids. The one on the left, I caught them chasing each other under the kitchen table. Then what I said, "say cheese." Hene smiled and Tamara gave me a retard look. lol On the right is my little Stud! I had gone to the temple that morning and Aunty Loisi gave him his morning bath and got him ready for the day.


Ahhh. Winco adventures! Yep. We were all at home about ready to toast up some waffles for breakfast and realized we didn't have any syrup. So we ran to winco and picked some up and some lunch too. Oh and we can never forget the kids and their treats. lol


On the left is a heart shaped valentine from my little ray of [Sunshine]. She has such a big heart and is sooooo smart! I love this girl to no end! Everything she says and does is [always good]. This card will sit on my fridge until I get it framed for my new house. And then on the left is my little tired man. He had been yelling at me from the couch and when I finally got his bottle for him, this is what I found. {awwww}..


Well. Here we are, January 2013! Still going strong and still headed in the right direction. Thanks you two for keeping mommys head on right. I credit our families success to you two hands down. Love You!! =)

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Picking Up The Pieces


Things this time are different. Here I am trying to do too many things at once. Now, mind you I don't work. So I have time. Had I been working, I'd probably explode. I had to drop one of my classes cause my professor was super rude and had no kind of understanding whatsoever. Oh well. Luckily I dropped it the first day of the semester so it doesn't effect my completion rate, nor my GPA. I just want to get school done and fast. I want to work and make money but circumstances prefer me not to. I want to do so much. I want to finish my book. I want to do my calling to the best I can. I want to be on time and prepared to all my classes. I want a lot huh?

This morning I woke up to Henele throwing his bottle at my face and Tamara hiding candy under the blankets. And I layed there just listening to what they would do. Henele sat up, Tamara sat up with her candy. I heard Henele with his baby talk and Tamara talking back to him. Makes me wonder if Tamara understands anything Henele says through all that blabbering. Tamara then gave him some candy and together they "snuck" a session of candy while I was "sleeping".. I just love that Tamara thinks of her brother. I wasn't there to tell her to share. She just did it. It makes me happy when I see her taking care of her brother.

Henele likes to poke people in there faces with one finger, scream at the top of his lungs in unison with someone else, craws super fast when he sees food, still loves his bath time, has now jumped on the love for mickey mouse club house train.

Tamara has got me thinking about school. Not mine, but hers. She'll be going to pre school soon and I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to take it. We'll just have to wait and see, I guess.

For now, things are hectic and chaotic. But like the rest of everything that has ever been hard on me, I'm gonna enjoy it. We'll make it through as we keep picking up the pieces.


Wednesday, January 9, 2013

My Sunbeamer

So, this past Sunday was our first time as the new Presidency to make so many changes to the primary program. The outline of our primary was the biggest change. Change is good though. I think. My roll was to monitor the hallways and substitute the classes with missing teachers. I subbed for two classes. One was Tamara's class, the Sunbeams, which was also combined with the CTR 4 class (her teacher came a bit late) and then later I taught the Valiant 9 that was combined with the Valiant 11 class. I have to say, it was tough. Having to carry Henele all day long, luckily some of the sisters came and took him while I was teaching or walking the halls, but doing that and having to keep Tamara in the corner of my eye, helping the late kids go to there classes and substituting is quite the task. But as the saying goes...

The Lord doesn't give you anything you can't handle.

So, after that whole experience, which by the way, church now starts at 1 and we totally didnt make it through the opening of sacrament cause Henele was screaming for food. haha I went home from church, thinking about it all and thought of different ways I can manage better.

I was thinking this whole time that the "hall monitor" roll was the easiest, I now think that it may be the hardest. Idk.. I still have two more rolls to experience and to evaluate on better outcomes.

Now, even though all of it seemed hard at the time, one moment, just one moment in that entire day made all of that craziness worth it all, and that was the moment I walked out of Tamara's class as her teacher showed up and seeing her sit with the other classmates and smiling and sitting reverent. I glanced at her as I walked out and my heart just melted away. Had I not been at church in the public, I literally would've cried. If I could've just froze time for 5 minutes to turn back and kiss her on her cheek and take a second to cry out my proud mom moment, that's exactly what would've happened.

I am so proud of my little girl. She never seizes to amaze me. Even though I'm hard on her and she has the biggest attitude, I know she has a big heart. She's good.

Just had to vent out that proud mom moment!

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

To Be Like Her


This is my Grandma. Silivia Vaiolingi Langi. I'm named after her. If ever there was a moment that I could ever live up to her, I'd do it. I want to be just like her. She was incredible! And if there was anyone that ever knew her, I know without a doubt that when her name was said, they thought Strong Woman! She was such a hard worker! I know that everyone says that about their Grandparents, but when I say, I mean it in every way! she literally was a hard worker! She was strong in the gospel and she was always there. Even though she was old, whenever I was home, and knew she would be there, I felt safe. She protected our home. She cleaned our home. She even   cleaned the neighbors homes. Seriously. She loved to tend to our garden outside. She was always weeding, picking up garbage. And when she was done with our house, she would move on to the neighbors houses and start weeding their yards. I remember when I was young and I would think it was weird that she did that. But until I grew a little older, I now look back on it and smile.

In my life, I feel I've put her name to shame. I cry. I wish I could turn back the hands of time and do it all again, but, the right way. The way it should have been done. But, had I done it the right way, I know I wouldn't have my Tamara and Henele. So, this wish is a wish that I would never wish for.

I wonder if Tamara and Henele knew her before they came down to earth. I wonder if they spoke and if they did, what about? Did she tell them about me and what I was like when she was still on this earth? Were Tamara and Henele picked by her to be sent to me?

If they knew my Grandma before they came to me, I know that they would have only been told of the good that can be done in the world. That hard work is key. That happiness is only what you make of it.

They've come a long way since this picture huh? Tamara has short hair from when she was once the Avatar and Hen just looks like a newborn. lol But since this pic, he sure has filled in huh? These were the days when we would watch movies on our portable dvd player. We had the dvd player connected to the tv in the living room and the room in the room kinda just sat there until I finally saved up enough money to go buy one. Now that we have one, we hardley use it cause I now have cable connected to the tv in the living room. And now that we have cable connected, we never use the dvd player in the living room. Funny how things pan out huh? Waste of money! lol

I'm excited for 2013. I can just feel that it's gonna be a good year! Well everyone, as I strive this year, I'm putting in my very best! Gonna do all that I can and more!

Here we go!