In Loving Memory of Miss Maile Tuaone - A Princess Has Returned Home

We may not have all the answers
I know that we can change some of the things that are beyond our control
And the vision of us may be blurry
But use your heart to see
Just follow the beat, the rhythm will lead you right back to me

Sometimes it's a game of give and take
It's easy to break
But hold on and wait
Have a little faith

I will go down to the last round
I'll be your strength to find you when you get lost in the crowd
So I'll stand up tall, if by chance I fall
Then I'll go down as a casualty of love

The battle of us could be simple
Escape without being hurt
Cause love is our shield, keeps us concealed
From what could get even worse

All is fair
In love and war
Knock me down
And I'll get back up wanting more
Through the fire and rain
It makes me numb from the pain
That's the price, that's the price, I'll pay

Miss Maile Tuaone passed away March 24, 2014. To me, she was an incredible friend. I knew Miles through my childhood best friend - Kanika "Nik" Tuaone, who is her youngest sister (the far left in the picture). She passed away in an accident on the freeway while changing a flat tire. 

When word got to me that she had passed away, I couldn't believe it. The first thing I thought of was Lani. Her mom. Lani has been through 2 funerals now for her own family and I couldn't imagine the heartache she has gone through in her life. But I do believe that she has a strong testimony and fully understands The Plan of Salvation and through this plan she is able to continue being the strong Mother that she is. 

She has done an incredible job with her 5 kids. Through Nik, I can totally see her amazing works.

So, in honor of Miss Miles, this summer will be filled with bike rides, swing dates at the park and slurpees cause those are a few of her favorite things to do. 

To Lani - From a Mother to a Mother, The loss of a child is hurtful. For me standing on the outside of your world hurts me to a pierce. I don't know if I could bare the thought of emotion going on inside your world. But I will say this, because of the strength of your testimony, I will, as a mom, a sister, an aunty, a cousin and above all a daughter of God, strive to embed the fullness of The Plan of Salvation that I may one day have the strength to release a love of my own. Thank you for your example.

"LOVE FOR MILES AND MILES"

 xoxo Via

Quite The Week

It's been quite the week.

From work to school to church and back through over and over again. It gets to me. I am so tired. I literally sat in Sacrament today and was sleeping. Thankfully the couple that did the Sunday Program finished 20 minutes early. lol That never happens at church. I would have left church earlier but I was asked to say closing prayer in sacrament so I had to stay until the end.

Anyway.. This week has been so hectic that on Wednesday I totally spaced class. I was so caught up trying to catch up with the kids, laundry and Tamara's Preschool registration, I totally spaced class. I laughed at it cause with how crazy this week has been I honestly couldn't afford to let myself get down about it.

Even though life is really hard right now for me and I have to make many sacrifices here and there I can honestly pat myself on the back cause through it all, I stay keeping my head up and staying positive.

I work full time. I'm in school full time. I hold Faith in God twice a  month. Tamara and Henele are still at that crazy kid stage. I dont go to the gym but I do make sure whatever machine I work on at work is a hard one or I do the hardest job to make sure I get in a good sweat and I have to say, this past week, I got in PLENTY of great workouts. I still have a house to uphold. I pay my bills myself. I am close to being debt free. I pay a full tithe. I help my parents keep there house together.. because Henele is the one that tears it apart. I still uphold my roll in Primary. The list could go on....

But actually writing down some of the things I do... It really puts things into perspective. I don't know how I do it, but I do it and still make it to Sunday to be able to blog it off.

This weekend was full of .... stuff.

Wednesday and Thursday were the prep days for Tamara's trip to Disneyland. I took her shopping and also at the same time I got her registered for Pre-School. I debated The APA Academy and I even looked in Challenger School. Looked at the pro and cons of them both. APA is close to home and cheaper. Challenger is more expensive and farther away. But the quality is really what mattered to me and I have to say.. Both school probably produce excellence and I want to say that as a parent I have to accommodate for other things in life that Tamara and Henele will come across. Like characteristics, personality, talent and humanity. I toured these schools and I chose APA over Challenger. Now with APA, it's a little tricky with how to even get your kid into the school. You have to apply and then your kids name gets thrown into a pool and when it comes time for the new school year. They pull from the pool with whos kid gets in.

So Tamara's name is in the pool and we can only hope her name gets pulled. Now as a backup I have her registered at Stansbury Elementary. They just redesigned their PreSchool program too. I haven't gone in to check it out for myself but I can say that they remodeling they did to the actual school looks really nice. It's also just down the block from us so I guess in a sense I wouldn't lose out with her going there. I will have to go check it out for myself.

Friday, Tamara was packed and ready to go to Disneyland. She left Friday and she should be back this Friday. I went to work and started crying cause I missed her so much.

Here she is packed and ready to go. I listened to "let her go" all night Friday. I know I'm being a little dramatic. I just know that this is the beginning to her being on her own. This is the first time she will be this far from me and the longest she will have been away from me since she was born.


I miss her like crazy. I went into work later on after she left to the airport and as I was working, I literally had to fight the tears back. I pulled my hood up over my head so no one could look at me. I'm such a cry baby.


I could only imagine her first day of preschool. I know I will be crying my eyes out.


I am totally one of those parents that doesn't want her kids to grow old. I just want them to stay little.

Here she is on her first plane trip. This is before lift off to LAX.

I made sure to put in her favorite books into her backpack for the ride.


I knew I could count on Sunshine to take good care of her with reading them to her.

It looks like it's been a successful start to their vacation.


I'm so grateful for my sister Kuuipo and Himinai for always taking Tamara and Henele as if they were their very own.

The trust I put into them with Tamara and Hene extent to infinity.



I know that if ever anything happens to me and I can no longer care for Tamara and Henele, Kuuipo and Himinai will give them the best they can.


I know having Kuuipo and Himinai in my living will as the guardians for them is one of the best decisions I have made and I know I will have no regrets with it.

Here is what my Saturday morning looked like.


Kuuipo's calling is the Stake Young Women President. And since she is out of town on vacation, she asked me to help run the Stake Young Women Basketball Tournament.


It was very.. different.


It was young women, so the girls are at that age where they understand to listen and cooperate with leaders. It was hard but at the same time, a great experience.


I caught a glimpse of what it's like to take the reigns of a "higher calling". I give anyone that has a stake calling props cause it really is harder to run a group of 200 girls versus your regular 50 each week.

I enjoyed running the tournament. I got to meet a lot other leaders in the stake and I'm a little nervous that they might extend me as the "sports director" in the stake. I said my calling now is enough for me to handle. lol

 After the tournament I went to my Aunt Amita's babyshower.

This is Loisi playing one of the games. She had to get 7 clothes pins out of that chunk of cake in 3 minutes. It was funny watching.

 Here's Mita opening up her gifts. It's always fun watching new mothers open their gifts at a baby shower.

Here we are pretending like we threw the shower. lol The decorations were off the hood and the food was bomb! It was tons of fun. Oh and that's Kolona. The lady next to Loisi. She works at the distribution too. That's where I met her. She's so nice and is always telling me to have a good day at work.

 My first update on the Elder. He's doing so good so far. This pic is with his brother from another mother Sione Moli.

These two grew up together and since I could remember they were inseparable. It was no surprise that they shared the same farewell, they were to report to the MTC the same day and they flew to their mission fields the same day and when the time comes, they will return home the same day also.

These two are a great team together. I'm glad Willy has the type of best friend that will stand next to him through thick and thin. Friends like this are the one you grow up with.

I guess at the MTC they have their time to hit the gym and there is a record for the most 3 pointers in a row and as of now, Sione holds the record. lol

Sione's brother Etu says he wasn't surprised that he holds the record.

Elder Langi is such a stud. His smile is so reverent to me. He has that smile that is just inviting and friendly.

He's been in Tonga for about 2 months now. Here he is meeting an uncle of mine that we've never met. His name is Tausinga. My Mom's little brother. I think. But when he got to Tonga, he was already there waiting for him at the airport ready to take good care of him out there. Elder Langi's luggage did get stuck in New Zealand and he was stuck in the hot weather without his luggage for a few days. lol But it made it's way to Tonga eventually.

Here's his first pic we got with him and his companion Elder Latai. They look like a great team. I'm excited to hear all his stories and I can't wait to see the Man he will become through the next two years.

Love this kid to no end and I will always always always call him kid.

Every time I see missionaries here in Salt Lake, I honk and wave. I say hi. Because every time I see a Missionary, I see my little bro.

Even though I miss him like crazy here at home, I know the people of Tonga need him there.

 "When opportunity knocks, will you answer?" Elder Langi asked me this in one of his emails to me. And anyone can take this question any which way.

When I was asked this I take as doing anything and everything I do whole heartedly.

So... this is a pic of a receipt at McDonalds.

I saw 3 Elders walk into McDonalds and I followed them in. After they were done ordering their lunch as squeezed by them and said, "Elders, Do you mind?" And I pulled out my debit card and paid for their lunch.

I know someone in Tonga is out there keeping an eye my little brother. So I feel I should do the same when I see an Elder that I will take care of someone's little brother even if it's as simple as buying them lunch.

Like I said.. It's been quite the week.

Have a good week everyone! 
Especially my two friends from Greece. I will get at your topics soon.


xoxo Via

XOXO, Via

So... Jacob.

He's a Prophet of old. And I'm only going to hit the main points of his story.

I sat in Sunday School today and Brother Warner was teaching. Now his teaching method is very... what's the word.. "open".. So in a sense, its very open discussion. He likes to print off his lesson and read it straight from the paper. I'm not complaining or anything, everyone has their own teaching methods and when your heart begins to yearn for growth, you take what you get. Simple enough ya? So.. I'm sitting in class and although I've sat in many of his classes, this one in particular had my attention for some reason. It could have been the topic, it could have been the spirit.. I don't know what it was. I just know that I was suppose to be there for that lesson. I guess you can call it a gut feeling.

I usually don't make it to the beginning of Sunday School cause I'm still in Primary helping run that program before I try and get to Sunday School for myself. I walked in and Brother Warner was talking about "love at first sight."

Go figure.. I cringe at the thought of love. I just don't think it's in the cards for me. Not in this life anyway. I'll maybe get into a little more feeling details later on.. not sure if it's necessary yet.

He goes on saying that "love at first sight" is possible. And plainly says, "If anyone asks you if love at first sight is real, you can say yes because your Sunday School Teacher said so." lol He then asks directly to a few members of the class.. "how did you meet your spouse?" or "What were you looking for in a spouse before you married?"

Now is that something awkward for someone like me? ummmmm YES! lol I wanted to walk out and just go sit in the Chapel and wait till it was time to go pick up Hene from his class.

If I was asked either of those questions... I'm sure my face would have turned pink. haha But he did apologize if the topic and what they were discussing offended anyone. And I'm sure he was referring to me and Ani who was sitting in the back, cause we are both Single Mothers. But, I wasn't offended. To my surprise, I was open minded. I took in whatever he discussed with the class and lets just say, I accepted it.

Now, back to Jacob. Jacob was the Son of Rebekkah and Isaac. Jacob loved Rachel. This is the story Brother Warner leads into from his "love at first sight" bit. Jacob pretty much had love at first sight with Rachel. Rachel was the daughter of Laban. When Jacob sought to pursue Rachel, he approached Laban and asked what he needed to do to have Rachel. Laban required him to work for him for 7 years.

Would men do this today?.. No.

Jacob worked his 7 years.

Rachel had a sister. Lea. Lea was older then Rachel and back then it was custom that the oldest was to get married first.

Laban tricked Jacob into marrying Lea by putting a vale over Lea instead of Rachel. Jacob went to Laban and asked why he tricked him into marrying Lea. And he explained how the oldest gets married first. Then Jacob asks again. What do I need to do to have Rachel? Laban, again said work for him for another 7 years.

Jacob worked his 7 years and finally married Rachel. Yes, Jacob married sisters but back then, things were more "legal" then they are now.

There is much more to the story. What I didn't know.. was that between, Jacob and his two wives, they bore the 12 sons who we know today as "The 12 tribes of Israel." I thought that was cool. I knew bits and pieces to the story, I just never connected them till today.

Anyway.. Jacob in the end, ended up working for Laban for 21 years because He loved Rachel.

That's a lifetime to me. And I couldn't imagine what things were like back then or the kinds of struggles they had to endure waiting for 21 years.

All I really am trying to say is - Love.

I'm not afraid to Love. I'm afraid of Love. In my 24 years. It's been End Love. We search for Endless Love. Right?

Well. If another chapter opens up to me, then I'll let it unfold on it's own.

But I have already prepared myself mentally and emotionally, to not dwell on what might not even be there.

Let us all Carpe Diem, Enjoy Life and Stop to smell the roses.

xoxo Via

I Am A Latter Day Saint

Change.

I hear that a lot these days. And it's also occurring right now in my life. In the past week a lot has happened.

It's been a few weeks since I started at the Distribution Center, Printing Division. Even though I wake up the next morning super sore and super tired, I somehow constantly have the energy to keep going. Along with school and church too. I worked long 12 hour shifts this week and shuffling school gets to me every now and then.

Yesterday, I held Faith in God. I taught on bullying and we transitioned from bullying to making friendship bracelets. The girls and I had so much fun. Each of them made 3. One for them and 2 were for friends at school or someone they felt they could befriend.

Today, I was the only Leader in Primary and it was definitely overwhelming. But I got through it and I feel that I put in an honest work.

Now, even though I lost an incredible friend last week and I wanna say that that's the reason I worked long hours this past week, to sort of get my mind out of the dumps and continue on. Everything is slowly coming together.

I got a call from church headquarters offering me two jobs. A receptionist at the Church History Center and a Doctors Assistant up at Primary Childrens Hospital. I can't wait to learn more of these two jobs. They both come as full time, benefits and great pay.  I feel at this point in life, doors have begun to open for me. I'm excited to find new adventures.

I love working at the Distribution Center. I love being able to help produce his material for the Saints and the Saints to be.

If you've ever been to an Opera or a Ballet or any type of concert, there are many rolls to the production of that show. You have your stage/backstage crew, your audience, your performers and other rolls.

I imagine when I began working at The Printing Division of the Distribution Center the Missionaries and many church leaders like Young Women Presidents to Nursery Leaders to The Elders Quorum... They are the performers to our show. Those we serve such as the Children in Primary to our Neighbors we make banana bread for and friends we invite to Church... They are the audience. Now all the workers at the Distribution Center and the Printing Division, binding folders and pamphlets and music books and even the Book of Mormon... We are the backstage crew.

I find honor in working there. I really do. I enjoy going to work. I enjoy waking up the next morning with cuts on my hands and hurting arms and sore feet, legs and an aching back. I feel that it is my "little" contribution to perfecting the Saints. I never served a Mission. But I do know that the route that I have taken has brought me to a greater Mission Call.

I am a Latter Day Saint. I am not perfect. I sin just as everyone else does. I make wrong choices and have made many mistakes. But you know what? I am only human. I can strive for perfection but I will never be and that's ok. I don't need to be perfect. I will be only what I feel in my heart the Lord would have me be and work where I feel I need to work.

I am happily imperfect.

I am a Latter Day Saint. I get to church on time. I do my best to fulfill my calling as the Primary Second Counselor and Faith in God for Girls Leader. I can strive for being an example for young children. And through all the chaos, and headaches that may and will come, I will still get to church on time.

I am fulfilling my duty.

I am a Latter Day Saint. I have other tasks that must be done on a personal level. Education and Healthy Living must be met. I cannot indulge in simple pleasures nor overlook the angles of a rhetorical triangle. I need to learn - to grow.

I am learning.

"And the Lord said unto me; Marvel not that all mankind, yea, men and women, all nations, kindreds, tongues and people, must be born again; yea, born of God, changed from their carnal and fallen state, to a state of righteousness, being redeemed of God, becoming his sons and daughters; And thus they become new creatures; and unless they do this, they can nowise inherit the kingdom of God." 

Have a great week everyone. 

xoxo Via

An Unfair Loss

I have to say. Sometimes thinking with your heart isn't always the best way to go. I think it's good to have good intentions and that inside you want to always see the good in others. But I've learned from experience that there will come a time where you can't play the good guy card. You can't be the one to help in any given situation that comes your way.

I think it's good to want to live a Christ-like life. But lets be realistic. In this day and age, we have to set boundaries for ourselves. There have to be limits. There needs to be a fine line the deciphers when you can cross and when not to.

I've crossed that line. Like.... crroosssseeedd the line. And because I tried to be the good guy and help someone I felt needed it, I now am paying a big consequence.

I lost a real friend.

 Now, I don't want to get into all the gruesome details. So lets skip to the chase.

Dear {TP}
I feel terrible. I am sorry my good intentions led to this. I am sorry that losing you this way was by far so ridiculous. You are a very good person and I hope one day I can once again find a friend as good as you. I never intended any of this to happen. I never thought it would go this far. But seeing as it did, I would sincerely like to apologize from the bottom of my heart.

I expect to never hear from you again and I completely understand. I wouldn't want things any other way so long as you are ok and safe from harms way. I have brought this upon you and I know that our decision to part ways as friends is the utmost best decision.

Take Care. I care about you more then you know.
Love Via.

It's hard. Life is hard and I wanns say we are brought to hard times because we are ready to be that much stronger. As much as I hate what's going on right now in my life, I have to Let It Be. I can't change the past and but I can change my future.

If any of you have a best friend out there. Keep them as close as you can, you never know when they won't be there anymore.

xoxo Via