No!

Saying no. Sometimes is the easiest thing to say, but for some can be very hard. Now for me, unfortunately is very hard. I'm the type that will help even when I can't help myself. I will always do whatever I can to help those that ask for it putting aside any agendas I may already have in place. Sometimes I will give more then I have. Sometimes I'll give all that I have and take the toll on myself to help ease the burden of another.

Now, I'm sure it sounds very heartfelt with what I've just brought to the table, but when you are in my position or happen to understand my position, it's not at all that great helping others. Now, let me clear that up cause clearly, "helping" is always great. What my issue is, is that I help more then I should, more then I can afford.

I've come to a point in my life, where there are literally a lot going on. This past month (march) was so hectic, I couldve exploded a couple times. All in just that month that was going on were; The Relief Society's Birthday Celebration, which every year we celebrate with a dance. My mom is the Relief Society President at the Granger Ward and when my mom has a big project going on, I'm always on board with whatever help she needs. I was her personal driver, her errand girl, simply her personal assistant. When it comes to my mom, I like to give it my all. Always. After all that she does for me and the kids, it's only right to do the same for her when it counts the most. She doesn't have that many "big" projects throughout the year, so when they come up I like to do the most to help ease her load. Next on the agenda, my calling. Again, the Primary Second Counselor. Last month we planned our Easter Party. I was given the check to do the shopping for food, and easter things that would be needed for the party, and I organized the party itself. Ya, I don't know how that was put on me, but I'm guessing along the lines of one of our meetings, I probably agreed to doing it all. Next, School! Have I mentioned how much I hate school. Well I do. But shuffling school in between those two tasks was not all that great. I will say, I fell behind and am now kicking my ass to get things back in order. Sucks, but gotta do it. And last. I've been meeting a couple times a month with my Senior Class Officers from High School in preparing our 5 year reunion. Not sure if I've blogged this but I am the Granger High School Senior Class President for the Class of 2008. Yep. Talk about annoying girl that heavys her own burdens. lol ya.

Once last month I cried cause it was so hard. I felt like I was neglecting the kids doing all these different things and all at the same time. One day, I was sitting on my laptop crunching some numbers for the Easter Party budget and I glanced over at the kids and what I saw is what made me ball my eyes out. Tamara was sitting on the couch watching tv. The look on her face told me she was tired of watching the same show and that she was bored. Henele was laying stomache down, knocked out with his bottle in his hand. It was that moment that every one of those tasks were cleared from my mind and my heart sank deep in tears.

How could I have let all these things come before my family? Where was my heart at? Why were my priorities so out of order. I walked over to the kids with tears and asked for forgiveness. I felt like the worst mom. From that day last month, I kicked EVERYTHING into gear and am now back on track. The Easter Party was a Success and The RS Celebration was a Success, school is back on track and my reunion is still underway but I've delegated most of the work on my officers so that I keep my heart where it should be FIRST, and thats with my kids.

Im surprised I have a sec to even blog. I do have to say, when you work hard at the many tasks ahead of you, rewards will come and I have to say that I feel very successful right now. Being able to do all these things and even some of things I love to do on the side.

So... last thing I'd like to blog is the power of saying no. I've made it a special "key" to my happiness. Saying no is hard. Especially when who you are saying no to is someone that you absolutely love. But if saying no means that it's for the kids, then there is no question about it. I cant be pushed over or over burdened with more then I can handle. I will help to the limits that I know I can uphold. =)

Because of these women in my life, I am strong. I have that foundation to release to. I am not over burdened. I have learned to be balanced and am prioritized within my means. Thanks to my Ladies, I am getting to where I need to be with the help of their strength, love and above all humility.. Love them to no end! xoxo

Family. Where limits have no end. And love is no question.