Cheers

So many things have changed. Let me begin with the first on my mind. ME!

I took the summer off of school and I have to say that it was a very well rested semester. Even though I do wish I took at least 1 class, I stand by my decision and I'm making it count. So for whatever I have left of the summer before fall comes, I will enjoy every minute of it as best I can.

Now, when I say many things have changed I'm speaking in a mental state. My mind is very focused and satisfied with the changes I've made.

1. Fitness. I know that I have always just wanted to be fit but then I would always lose focus on that goal and really just wouldn't care. Until about a month or two ago. I have literally committed to a healthy living. Exercise and eating healthy have become a priority. I wake up every morning and right on my mind is "What am I gonna do today to improve my health?" Seriously. I may not be fully fit now, but I will be. I will succeed this time because I have found a place in my heart that has made it fully meaningful. Now, all of this couldn't have just come out of the blue right? Well, let me explain where this began.

My sisters kids come over every now and then when they have church meetings and what not. I've noticed their life styles and eating habits and I'd have to say it's not on the healthier side of the pyramid. And then I'd watch my kids and see that theirs is going down that same path. Now, my sisters kids are let's say, getting fat. It's honest. And I would think that kids of young age and their eating habits are very much credited to the example of their parents. I do not want unhealthy kids. So, for the past about two months I have been very good about making sure my kids are eating healthy and are getting in all the vitamins they need to be well nourished.

I am proud to be living a healthy life and want my kids to learn that example from me.

I hope you all can find healthy living something that is very important in life too. =) xoxo

I felt, I need, I hope

It's been a while Blogger.

Things are changing. I first want to point out how focused I am on a fit life. I've made changes to my workout routine and also my eating habits. Two important factors to living healthy. There have been many times before that I have tried to commit to a healthy living, but nothing like the commitment I have made recently. The past few weeks have been very dead for me. I felt like I couldn't do anything I really wanted to. I felt like my self esteem was at an all time low. I felt like I was never gonna be good enough. I just really felt low. Very low.

I am a stay at home mom. I hate staying home. I need to do something that will make me feel like my life isn't just passing me by. I need purpose. So, after thinking over my circumstances. I have now found a greater feeling for a fit life. I take out all my negative nancy on living healthy. And find it very very appealing. I like to do it. I like to make change. And since I will be home with the kids till they are practically in school, unless circumstance change, then I will be living fit! Promoting healthy living and helping those I love live a healthy life too.

So this summer I hope to find my summer bliss through these changes I have committed to. I hope to enhance my inner strong Via. I hope to become better. And as the summer goes by, I WILL MAKE EVERY DAY COUNT!

Happy Summer!

Useless-syndrom

As grateful as I am that I get to be a stay at home Mom and hang with the kids, do what we feel. I have to admit that I feel super useless. When you have time to watch nail and make-up tutorials on youtube, things grow very dull. I feel stale. I'm beginning to expire. I need NEW.

Tamara and Henele are beginning to make things much easier for me as they are [unfortunatly] growing up. I would take all the chaotic days for the rest of my life if I could just keep them young.

I have everything I need, even a lot of what I want. I need a new plan. I new project. What shall it be?

Changes

So the topic for today is... changes ...

Many things have changed. And everything that has changed has only changed for the better. I absolutely am content and happy with how everything is right now. The hot weather isn't so bad with having a heart full of gratitude for central air. =) I really am a lucky person. If luck really did exist, I would certainly have it or it would at least be in my favor.

Taking school off for the summer was an ok decision. I think I could have been fine taking at least two classes. But summers are very unpredictable and tend to be more on the busy side. And of course the summer I dont want to have to struggle with school cause of a busy schedule is so not the case. I have all the time in the world. I am with the kids all the time and as much as I love it, I feel like they are becoming comfortable with it.

Now, I'm not saying that they are too close. What mom wouldn't want their kids to not be close to them? I absolutely love it. I just have to be very careful that I don't over do it for them that when it comes time for them to really let go of me, it will be done with ease.

I've been taking the kids with me to Gold's Gym. They have a daycare there and allot 90 minutes for me to workout while the kids stay there. Now, I did this for those to reason exact; to get fit and expose the kids to other kids so they can get familiar with what it's like to be around a lot of other kids that are the same age but are total strangers. It has been working out just fine with them. I get all happy when I walk in there and see Tamara playing with other girls her age and Henele doing his own thing.

I want to prepare them for anything and everything. But if there is one thing I want them to master as early as possible, it's people. I want them so familiar that they can dissemble others at arms length and have a good idea of what they are like and whether they are a friend or not. Does that sound weird?

Well I think I am so prone to people that it's like a first language to me. I'm not scared and I understand. Things I want to teach them.

So, every few months, I write Tamara and Henele a letter. I have made them each a baby book that has all their "young" pictures and a lot of personality traits and firsts that belong to them. And in this letter I simply write what kind of life advice I could give them. I will go in depth with how I feel about what I am writing about. I date it, sign it and seal it and tuck it under one of the pages so it's sort of hidden. And when they grow up they can find them and read them and hopefully my thoughts will help them while at an older age.

If there's one thing that me as a single mom have learned going through life this way, it's that

[what matters most is always found in the little things].

Dont take a second for granted. Embrace life and let it absorb all of you and take what course you feel in your heart needs to be taken.

Have a fun summer!

Meanwhile...

Not sure how to put it any other way, as if I would want to, but I love my life. I am a spoiled little brat. I take too many things and people for granted. I need to show more appreciation and gratitude to those that are literally helping me every step of the way and each and every day. 

Mom and Dad. 

If I was ever given the opportunity to give to you two anything and everything you ever wanted, I would do so in a second. I can never repay you guys for all that you do for me and the kids. We truly do have everything we need and even many things that we want because you two are so loving to us and know how to make us happy even in our darkest parts of our lives. But it is because of you two that our lives are the way that it is. From the home the we live in and might I add [rent free] along with the not having to pay utilities that we use. I know that it gets hard for you guys and I never know when its hard cause you guys dont want us to worry. That's one thing I love about you Mom, you are always telling us kids to be happy but to be smart about how we go about obtaining our happiness. You tell us to be smart and always put your faith in the Lord. To pay a full tithe and never come across a month where things are left unpaid or past due. To live an honest life. Mom, you have always told us kids that; "Lies are like balloons trying to stay under water, they always make their way to the surface." And that will always stick with me for the rest of my life and will most definitely relay to Tamara and Henele. Mom and Dad, thank you so much for absolutely EVERYTHING. I know I'm a burden with the circumstances that I have brought into the family but you still show your love unconditionally. I love you two much more then I you can imagine. 

Kuuipo, Nai, Sunshine and Teta

I love you guys soo much! Kuuipo and Nai, you two are and will always be Tamara and Heneles "second" parents. I know that if anything ever happens to me that I have left them with a great family. I trust you guys a lot more then I trust myself sometimes. Thank you guys for always giving the kids that foundation they need if  ever I lack on parenting skills. I know I drive you guys crazy yet you guys still stand by my side. Thank you for everything! 

Willy

Now, you I definitely take for granted and am truly sorry for that. You are always my go to guy for any spur of the moment babysitting when I want to go gym, zumba and school. Thank you so much for always never saying no. I know you hate doing it cause you have other tasks to get done but you always do it anyways cause I know how much you love my little family. Thanks bro. You really are a big part of our lives and how we get by each day. And I know I will really understand how much I take you for granted as soon as you go out and serve. Thank You Willy! We love you more then you know.

Gratitude is something we end to bypass as the days go by. We all get caught up doing our daily tasks that we forget about the little things. And I'm sure there's no one person out there that can remember gratitude each and every day, well maybe the monks. But what I'm getting at is that today, I have been looking at myself and thinking of all the many blessing I have each and every day. I may not show it but it's something that I'm going to work on so that no one person feels that I am not grateful. 

Aside from my gratitude here are a few updated pics from the last couple events to keep my blog current. Enjoy!

Teta's baseball season has begun and he is an amazing Catcher!! I love going to his games!

Spring Saturdays we as a family go skating at Liberty Park and play baseball at a local Elementary School near home. This way we keep our family close and our accounts positive. lol

Les took me and Tamara to the Bruin bash and it was oh so fun! Tamara loved every second of it.

What they do in the car instead of say Cheese

Cousin Lasi Graduation from Slcc with her AA Degree. Super ups to her cause she hasn't even graduated from Hunter High yet. 

We are the dedicated cheer squad for the Monster Crew. With teta playing baseball and Christina, Jay and Sunshine playing soccer we do our best to make each game to show our support. =)

Went shopping with this bundle of joy and this is how long the line was. We are practically in one of the isles at Ross and havent even made it to the line by the registers. 

Viva La Juicy supporting our Soccer players one saturday morning. Love this chick!

My little Dancer training.

Mothers Day Dinner on Deck. An Annual Favorite for us all.

Peek a Boos and Eye Pokes are their specialty.

Took this big guy to get his Wisdoms taken out. lol tried to hide from the camera but only true big sisters know the right time to take the pic. =)

One of the recent books I read. Loved it. Diana Palmer is a Romance Novelist and I totally love her work!

That's a wrap! =)

My Growing Henele

Now that Henele is fully walking and turning that corner of baby to toddler. [teary eyed]. I honestly can't believe how fast the time has gone. He will be 2 this December and I am just in awe at how much progress he has made. Since his first birthday he has learned to walk, climb, run, and he is now beginning to pull out a few words. A few words he says is,

"ba ba" [bye bye]
"ta tu" [thank you]
"sasa' [sasa]

And a whole lot of baby giberish. His grunts are the most hilarious things ever. He will be sitting in his carseat and as we are driving he will grunt and then I'll say "Henele!" then he goes "uuhhh"... It really is funny. Everytime I walk towards him at my moms house he laughs and runs as fast as he can in the opposite direction. He always thinks I'm trying to take him back to the back house. He loves to stay with my mom.

He is truly a Grandma's Boy. A lot of times when it's just me and Tamara leaving the house, we will come home and my mom will say how he started crying when he realized that we left. But now when me and Tamara are in the car just about to pull out and we are [trying] to get Hene in the car is turns away cause he wants to stay with Grandma.

Such a silly boy. Sometime I'll be on my laptop and I will turn and look at him, when he sees me looking at him he starts to laugh and run toward me. He is always trying to find a way to play with you.

He now understands the concept of sleeping. He will go grab a pillow when he is tired and pull it to the floor then lay down on it to sleep. [Tamara did the same thing] He is always tearing apart the garbage bin and throwing our garbage everywhere. He loves to pull down all the books from the shelf just to throw them on the floor. And he loves to take out all his toys from the bucket just cause he knows I will tell Tamara to pick them all up. [yes, he knows what he is doing].

He knows that when he is playing with Tamara and starts to cry, I am always screaming at Tamara with the blame. [so wrong] He loves to throw. I mean throw! Of all the toys in the toy box he will almost always grab a ball.

The one thing I absolutely adore about my little man, is his [smile]. His smile really makes me melt. I could be so mad at him for whatever and with his little smile, I don't care instantly.

There really is a [special] bond between a mom and her son. I totally get my moms position when my brothers do stupid things.

Well. Henele is my hero, my muscle, my everything. They both really complete me.

My Little Diva

Tamara is now pulling out full sentences. I'm actually surprised with how extensiver her vocab is for her age. I try and think back to when the older kids (teta, chrstina, jay and sunshine) were at her age and what they were doing at the time, but I can't recall. A few things I just adore about the newly evolving Tamara Leethee:

Example 1.
"Mom, what's your favorite color?" - "Purple" - "Thats weird" - "Tamara, what's your favorite color?" [puts her index finger to the corner of her mouth and gives me that look of "deep thinking"] - "Ummm PINK!"

Example 2
[As we are driving on the road] "Mom" "Mom" "Mom" 'Mom" "MOM" "MOM" "MOM!!!!!!!" - "Tamara!" - "What?" - "What it is?" - "I love you." [super guilty feeling insert here]

Example 3
[Combing her hair in the morning] "Mom! I'm so excited!" - "Ya, why?" - "I love THE CROODS" - "Oh ya?" - "Ya, and me and Sunshine go watch The Croods and have it all the Popcorn and it was so so FUN!" - "That is sooo awesome Tamara!" - "Ya, Fank you Mommy for taking me to The Croods." - "Youre Welcome."

Example 4
[Getting out of the Car] "Mom, I can't open the door." - "Tamara, you can do it." - [over exaggerated grunt and opens the door] - "See mom, I can open the door." - "I told you." - "Mom, I can't carry the diaper bag, its soo heffy." - "Yes you can." [carries the bag]

Example 5
"Mom, can I go ride my bike?" - "Did you pick up all your toys and put your books on the shelf?" - "No." - "Then no, you can't go ride your bike." - "But mom, I have to go ride my bike!" - "Do you want me to take your bike back to the store?" - "No." - "Then go pick up your Toys! Now!" - "Ok."

Example 6
[Getting in the car] "Tamara, buckle your seat belt." - "Mom, I cant do it." - "Yes you can." - [grunt] "Mom, its too heffy." - "Tamara, you can do it." - [click] "Mom, I buckle my seat belt." - "Good job Tamara"

I could go on and on about the little convos me and Tamara have. They are so special to me. Watching her make new changes in her growth and her understanding, I have to say that I am proud. I think right now, Tamara is doing such an incredible job. Yes, she has that diva attitude, but I love that diva attitude because that little Diva is MINE!

She has come a long way with me and for all that I have put her through, I am truly grateful. Lately, Leroy has been trying to mend things between us to try and fix our family. But for me, I am pretty set on not turning back. Just the thought of how my life was back then really puts a damper on my day. I hated it. I don't want it. This morning Tamara woke up crying her eyes out. I asked "Tamara, whats wrong?" She said, "I miss my Daddy." That right there really makes me hate him more. To see her go through feelings like this cause of him really hurts. I know she doesn't understand why we aren't together. But in time I hope she can understand my position and not hate me so much cause her Dad isn't around. I have asked myself if I do see us together again for our kids as a happy family. But I honestly do not see it. I see all the fighting, the screaming, it's just not the life I want. They say, "time heals all wounds" but I think by the time my wound could heal, I would have already moved on. Sucks right?

Well There's a Tamara 101 for you. I Love my Tamara!