I'll be ok, just not today

Ever feel useless? Every feel like you're just not good enough no matter how hard you try?

Everything lately seems to be crumbling down on me. I feel like I'm just going through the motions but not doing anything whole-heartedly. I can't help but be even harder on myself then I am regularly and that doesn't help the issue. When I hear other peoples issues and hard times they are going through, I feel it. I know what it's like to hurt and to be stressed out so when others talk about it, it just recalls all those familiar feelings back to me and it just weighs me down.

My life. My rollercoaster. My ups and downs in my life are very distinct. I tend to be super happy and everything seems to come together but then things just don't feel that way anymore. It's like Advil. A temporary fix. I don't know if there is a way I can just drug up on "advil" so I'm not stuck in the dumps. It's that time of year that we renew ourselves. We prepare ourselves to be better people. Plan on bigger and better things. Love. Hope. Share. Laugh. Play.

I want this holiday season to be one to remember. One that, ten years from now, I can recall because this or that happened. I want them to be happy.

As I continue to feed off of their innocence, happiness and joy, I hope that you all can find meaning in your lives and make for a better you. I know I will.

Where had the time gone? I couldn't remember a time before when time seemed to speed up this fast. The road was so smooth. Like it was newly paved. Everything was right and just as it should be. Why wasn't I enjoying it? Were my feelings preparing me for something unexpected?  I know I think too much, but just this one time, I'm gonna look ahead with all the integrity within my body and continue. I'm going to let all the negative feelings settle while I physically watch things come and go. I can't stop now. Time continues and so shall I.