Tamara Turns Three

It all happened today, 3 years ago.

I would be sitting at the Murray IHC in room 4 on the 3rd floor of the womens center. Nurses couldn't believe I just had a baby natural. I had lost a lot of blood with her so I had been dead tired but didn't care that my body wanted to give in so bad cause I just had a baby.

I could remember that morning clearly. It was me, my mom and my sisters kuuipo and aki. Leroy was there but couldnt handle me beating him up with all the contractions I was feeling. He was a little whoose anyway. I remember pushing and the nurses fighting with me to stop. It's true when they say, YOU KNOW when it is time for them to come. Nurses and doctors to go off of how much you've dilated and how close your contractions are, but only the prego will be the one to really know when ITS TIME.

After the nurses kept on fighting with me to stop pushing, I gave in. But as I stopped pushing, I knew she was coming. I turned to kuuipo and said I think I need to use the bathroom. I walk over to the bathroom and felt down there and sure enough, it was her head.

Kuuipo watches me and I look at her and say, "uh oh." She gives me a weird like and I say, "Thats her head." So, I walk over to the bad and start pushing her out. The nurse turns and sees me crowning and runs out to get the doctor, Her head comes out and the doctors and nurses run in and tell me to wait... was I gonna wait? hell no. The nurses are trying to get her delivery bed ready while I start delivering my own baby. lol the doctor tells the nurses to run over and hold my legs up. yet kuuipo and aki were already doing that. haha  A couple pushes later, Tamara Leethee Unasa was born. (really debating on changing their last name).

When I heard that first cry she let out, I laid there and couldnt believe what I had just done. I couldn't believe I just gave birth. The put Tamara in my arms wrapped in a towel and I started crying. It was that moment they put her in my arms when I truly felt the meaning of true love.

to this day, I never knew how much you could love someone with a hard passion.

I would hold her in my arms and wait till she would wake up. I loved her dimples. And when I saw her eyes for the first time. They were a pearl color. A very dark pearl. And I remember looking at her and thinking to myself, "Shes gonna have blue eyes." I never told anyone, I kept it to myself. A week later, they lightened up a whole lot. They were a very much blue color. And that's when my family couldn't stop talking about it or looking at it. Almost as if she was a freak. Nai was the most surprised that her eyes were blue the way that they were. Leroy had gone on about how it comes from his side of the family. I laughed and really didn't care. What mattered most was that she was healthy and had all her ten toes and ten fingers and everything else that a normal person should have.

Then after that, everyone that saw her, Dr. Vierra and Nurse Christina would tell me that it's normal for her eyes to come out blue when they are born, They told me that her eyes would turn to it's true color after a couple weeks. Her eyes were just adjusting to life or whatever. But in my mind, I knew that her were gonna stay the same. Everyone kept on about how they will change to brown. I think it's just one of those things you know. as a mom, you just know. Three years later her eye color stayed.

I think I've only actually looked at her eyes and observed the color maybe twice in her whole life. lol I don't care that her eyes are blue, gray, green. It doesnt matter to me at all. As long as they are functioning fine for her, I'm great. But her eye color is definitely the one feature that everyone knows her by. But boy are they missing all the details of what's behind those eyes of hers. The real Tamara! =)

Leethee. Here middle name. It means, Always to Remember, Never to forget. It's after a lady named Lethe on a church film called, The Mailbox. A very good movie. If you havent seen it, I'd recommend it. But Lethe was a very inspirational women. Initially, it was supposed to be Tamara Lee Unasa. After Les. I didn't want it Losili or Leslie. I wanted it Lee. But before I had filled our her name form, Lee had called me and asked to change it to Leethee after her and Lethe to give it a special meaning. I loved the idea and so then changed it. =)

Tamara has gone through so much with me in only the 3 years shes been on this earth. She's literally MY ROCK. I couldn't have made it this far without her. She's seen me down in the dumps. I've cried my eyes out to her (and still do sometimes). She's taken good care of me through the time of our family falling apart. She knows when I'm not ok and sure enough always asks me, "Mom, are you ok?" When I'm mad at her for doing something she knows she's not supposed to do, she says, "Mom, I'm sorry, I's my fault." When she does something mean to Henele that makes me cry she says, "Sorry Henele, I didn't mean to." When I bake her cupcakes or take her to McDonalds to get her her favorite chicken nuggets she says, "Mom! This is ALICIOUS!" When I'm doing my homework and totally stressed trying to get it done she says, "Mom, come, I need to talk to you." She'll take me to the room and hold my face between her two little hands and look me dead in the eye and say, "Mom, you're ok, I luff you!"

She's doing right now cause I'm crying as I blog. I love her so much!

Putting the little things she does to words and actually grasping them makes me realize that I am truly blessed with the best! We still have yet more adventures to endure and I know with my Tamara by my side she'll make the ride worth while.

I can't wait to see whats in store this next year with her. and I can guarantee, it will be great!

I LOVE YOU TAMARA LEETHEE!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAMARA!