HIM

A wise man once said you can have anything in life if you're willing to sacrifice everything for it. 

What he meant is nothing comes without a price. So before you go into battle you better decide how much you're willing to lose. Too often, going after what feels good means letting go of what you know is right. And letting someone in means abandoning the walls you spent a lifetime building. Of course the toughest sacrifices are the ones we don't see coming. When we don't have time to come up with a trajedy to pick a side or to measure the potential loss. When that happens, when the battle chooses us and not the other way around that's when the sacrifice can turn out to be more then we can bare. 

Love: (noun) a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person, place or thing. Warm attachment, enthusiasm, passion or devotion towards things in our lives. 

Love is constant. I think. I love. It's got me all edgy. But.. once I'm there, like there ready to throw my hand down with all walls crumbling at me feet, I slowly see the wall begin to form back up. 

I've built up some pretty tough walls for myself and I've always imagined my white knight coming to knock right through it with ease and there we are. I know it's fair tale like and I may sound pathetic, but it's not like any of you have fantasized you're love story before. I'm in "strong like" and I guess you can interpret that to "love" if you'd like. I know this because when I am with him, I'm not myself and when I'm not myself, it bugs the heck out of me because I DON'T FALL IN LOVE. I've begun to question myself, I've thought things over and over again. Thinking to myself, "come on V, what's gotten into you." Answer - HIM!

I've met guys. I've gone out. But him... damn. HIM intrigues me. If there is one thing I know I do well, it's figuring out people. I've studied, observed and listened to many people. And I am very good at getting people to "open up." Maybe it's part of my personality. I know i am one rambunctious person. I've been told that many times. And I guess it's what I portray that gives others that "comfortable" feeling and then - boom - I know their life story. 

I hate that I can't figure HIM out. I'm gonna let things pan out on it's own. (not my best or favorite move) but... just this once because I clench when it comes to HIM. HIM will be my most worked. 

Love. (noun) One crazy feeling I've never really felt before until HIM came along. 

Since that morning at starbucks and had our first coffee. 

xoxo Via

One Way Or Another

She has entered into a world where smiles are constant, speech is kind, love is endless and time is favored. She's hit rock bottom before and has risen above it all. She has dug her hole so deep that only she was able to climb out. She has altered life in many ways that life now stands comfortably. She dismisses negativity and genuinely wishes world peace. 

I have to say. It's a little different talking about myself in the 3rd person. 

Karma.

Sometimes even the best of us make rash decisions. Bad decisions. Decisions where you pretty much know you're gonna regret the moment it happens. Maybe not regret regret because we know we put ourselves out there. But still something inside decides to do a crazy thing and we know will probably turn around and bite us in the ass. Yet, we do it anyway. What I'm saying is, we reap what we sow. What comes around, goes around. It's karma and any way you slice it, karma sucks, and doesn't suck. 

One way or another our karma will leave us to face ourselves. We can look our karma in the eye or we can wait for it to sneak up on us from behind. One way or another our karma will always find us. And the truth is, we do have a chance to set the bounds in our favor. No matter how hard we try, we can't escape our karma. It follows us home. Then again.. I guess we really can't comoplain about karma. It's not unfair. It's not unexpected. It just even the score. And even when we attempt to do something that will make karma bite us in the ass, well it goes without saying and.. we do it anyway. 

Good karma is how we want to score. I believe that as long as we are honest, sincere and do good we set our bounds in our favor. Our good karma balances out all the good things we do. The service we give to others. 

The willing heart will never faulter. 

Karma. 

How will you set your bounds? 

xoxo VIa

Live Like There's No Tomorrow

If you knew today was your last day to live, how would you spend it?

You woud find me cooking breakfast for my family. Something simple like pancakes, eggs and sausages. I would need as much energy in them as I can to get through the things I would want to do. After breakfast we would go up to Capital Hill and hike through Memorial Grove and up to Ensign Peak. At the top I would make video documentaries for both Tamara and Henele giving them the best advice I could possibly give them on life, love and the struggles that come in between. We would then head back into town for lunch at a place that would be familiar to us. Chili's or Cafe Rio. After lunch we would head home to shower and power nap. While they nap, I would make calls to those that meant the most to me and tell them that I love them. Also overlook my living will to secure the safety of the kids and go over life insurances and accounts to secure them financially. After nap time, we would get dressed up and go into town. Just my family. Me, Tamara and Henele. I would have reservations at the Joseph Smith building at the rooftop for dinner, but before, I would want to walk around Temple Square with them and simply converse with them the importance of the gospel and how it will keep us together forever. I would take many family pictures around the Temple. After dinner we would head home and I would smother them with kisses and hugs and constant "I love you"s Before laying them down to bed, you would find us on our knees. Thanking our faither in heaven for all our blessings. As they lay in bed, you would find me holding their baby books close in my arms. Making sure each page is ready for them. Making sure they're secret life letters are hidden behind each page. I would end my day with one last letter. One to each of them. The "On Your Wedding Day" letter. I don't see me crying, but accepting the Plan of Salvation and understanding it in its fullness. Through this plan, I know I will see my family again. This is only but a part of the plan. 

I may not be sealed to my kids for time and all eternity. I understand I lack a head to my household. But I do know that so long as I stay faithfull and keep my covenants, all that is promised to me in this life will also be promised to me in the life to come. I know I still have the opportunity to be sealed it's just not easy finding a companion these days. My generation is not looking at girls with kids. And for me, that's ok. I'm ok. If it happens in this life, then I will let happen on it's own. I won't guide things either which way. 

My last day to live is simple. It's passionate and just how I would want it. Thankfully I'm no where near the end and still have many dreams to pursue. I still have stumbling stones to conquer and I still have yet to make my mark. 

How would you spend yours? This question got me tthinking. 

You only live once. Take those risks, do something you wouldnt do normally, face your fear, say i love you, dance, sing, scream out loud, burn your weaknesses and spotlioght your strengths, call an old friend, write a poem of your life, trust 100%, eat chocolate, jump in a river, sprint your last lap,swing as high as you did when you were a kid then backflip off the swing, shoot a baskeball grannie style, fly a kite only to get it stuck in a tree, order a meal from mc donalds for someone homeless on the side of the street then tip the cashier and say, "youre doing a great job". 

whatever you do on your last day, dont be scared and carpe diem. =)

xoxo Via

Steadfast and Immovable

Today I decided to ask ernestly for guidence. Not so much an answer to all the struggles of my life. But genuinely asked. I began a fast last night after work at about 1 am and all day I have been pondering the things of my heart versus the things for my heart. All day has been sort of a "thoughts" type of day. Thinking of the things that I need to work on and thinking of the things that I can help out more with and thinking of things that are best for Tamara and Henele (and myself too). I want to say that because of the strong spirit I felt last night at work I am creating a common ground for myself. Sort of like my own little Utopia. 

My own Utopia. That's perfect. That's just what I need. A place that I can fall back on. My own little foundation. A place that I can always come back to when I'm not having a good day or when I'm frustrated at other things. 

Fasting today is definitley been something I needed in my life and so far has been helping me with so much. And I mean so much so much so much. 

I've been thinking that fast a full 24 hours is something I want to do every Friday. Something that needs to be consistant and as long as it's consistent than so will my faith in many things. 

My last post I title The Lamb and The Wolf. I failed to write about what it means and why I titled it that. 

In a general sense The Wolf will always eat the Lamb right? Well since last night I was talking about how the adversary is trying his hardest to sway us his way. 

 

The people we are always with, like our family or friends or coworkers and we all want to see the good in people. So to us in our eyes, we see everyone as harmless as a Lamb. But there are those that "look" like a Lamb but underneath are Wolves. =) 

I am being mindful of the people that I interact with. 

I don't think I have ever fasted this whole-heartedly before. It's taking a toll on me. While my stomach yearns for something, it just reminds me of why I am doing this. Who I am doing it for. And how I know it will effect my life. 

The Lamb and The Wolf

Tonight at work was different. Tonight at work (in a way) changed my life. I never thought that this could happen. With knowing what goes on at work and how things are fast paced and when its time to go home, youre already out the door. We don't get a lot of time to interact with one another on a personal base. 

But tonight was different. 

So, in the Bible, there are many stories of the prophets of old. From Abraham who was willing to offer up Isaac as a sacrifice, to Moses parting the Red Sea, to Joseph who was sold into Egypt, to Esther standing her ground for what she believed. Many many stories are told in the Bible and we can learn from each of them. 

Back then, Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ would appear in stories and how people were to be directed or instructed. But that's what I'm getting at. They would "appear."

Now, Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ wouldn't appear in today's time. They just wouldn't. But you know what I realized tonight at work... That even though they don't appear, whether in physical form or spiritual form. I HONESTLY believe that Heavenly Father appears to us THROUGH OTHERS. Like our Prophet Thomas S. Monson. Just like that. Through the people we interact with on a daily base, I believe that through those people, he speaks to us and gives us the advice and the instructions that we need. 

Tonight, I worked along side with Pedro. A very good friend of mine. I have worked with him many times before but tonight at work, we had a discussion/conversation. And many things he would share with me, I related to them and knew that pieces of his conversation was like an answer to my questions. Questions to things that are going on in my life right now. And everything is very simple. 

I am a soldier of my faith. I understand my shortcomings and I know that the adversary is trying his hardest now more then ever to sway me his way. I know that he is working his way through the people i know I could depend on. I know that sometimes I don't agree with family things and I find myself trying to isolate myself. But after tonight I know that it's the adversary really trying to bring me down through the people that I love. And I'm truly grateful for Pedro for standing in place of my Father in Heaven for me to keep things straight in my life. 

Be honest in all your doings and you will reap the blessing that you truly deserve. 

Love life!

xoxo Via