"People are often unreasonable, irrational and self centered; forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies; succeed anyway. If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you; be honest and sincere. What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight; create anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous; be happy anyway. The good you do today, will often be forgotten; do good anyway. Give the best you have and it may never be enough; give your best anyway. In the final analysis, it is between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway." - Mother Theresa

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Welcome Back!!

What's meant to be, will be. It's better for you to be hated for who you are then loved for who you are not. Don't let what others think define who you are. Be bold and courageous, when you look back on your life you will regret the things you didn't do more then the things you did. What appears to be the end is really a new beginning. 

This past Saturday I went through the Bountiful Temple! It was my first time. The feeling reminded me of when I had Tamara and Henele. I just couldn't put the words together to describe how I felt. Since Saturday, I've thought over and over again of what it was like, the things I saw, the feeling I felt and I can't help but want to go back and experience it over and over again until I understand clearly of everything that goes on. 


Walking through those doors and that feeling you get when you're about to do work is a feeling I've deprived myself of for quite some time. It's been 3 maybe even 4 years since I've gone in the Temple. The feeling of coming back a second time after making decisions that were of no benefit to me, is a feeling that I know, and I really do mean it when I say 'I KNOW' this gospel is true. I hold it so close to my heart. There was a point in my life where I literally wanted to blame my struggle on everything OTHER then myself. 

One thing I know for sure is that this gospel has never once turned it's back on me. I turned my back and I've now come to an understanding that I, not only as a Mom but as a Daughter of God need to grasp this gospel with all my might, mind and strength for my kids. More for them, then for me.

The entire ride up to the Temple, during the Temple Session and even the ride home, one thing sat in my mind and heart. I didn't share it with anyone, I just held it in my heart and said a prayer and prayed for it to my Heavenly Father. To get sealed to my kids. Right now my kids are not sealed to me and the day I can go to the Temple WITH THEM to be sealed for all time and eternity will be THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE!! Hands down! 

I don't know what plans Heavenly Father has for me as far as ever getting married again or even getting back into the whole dating again. But I know that if I stay steadfast and obey, he will help me find a way. 


I need to find inner peace. I need to find that balance in my life that will help me stay strong. I'm so set on doing this on my own. With a father for them, that I sometimes question if I really can or the "what if I fail".. I don't want to fail. I want them to be happy and I want to give them the best that I can. 

Well, I'm still truggin along guys.. I won't give in. I will continue to go forward and do my best!


They are amazing!!
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