The best part of it all is that now, I can do things my way and my way only. It's time I go for my dreams. How am I gonna teach Tamara to go after her dreams if I don't do it myself. Lead by example. I see a lot of hard headaches right now, but happiness isn't too far away either. I know I'm a burden to my family with all of this, but we've been through much worse times. I've been lost for so long that finally making this decision to kick him out of my life has now brought light to my life.
I woke up this morning thinking to myself, what have I done? And after pondering about it all, the real question is, what am I gonna do now? My answer to that is, go back to school. Being a single Mom to two kids, what else could I do better then to go back and get it done. I'll be fine and so will they. The real fight of my life is now, moving on and improving. I'm gonna be strong and win this fight. Losing is not an option. Losing is failing my kids and I will not have that. I won't turn back now.
I see myself driving down a straight and narrow road. A broken road. A road with many pot holes, broken cement, and tar that has failed to piece the road together. My car is running on empty, tires threads are bare and look as though they are about to flatten. I hear my kids in back yelling and screaming. The feeling of the steering wheel beneath my sweating hands is telling me that I'm not gonna make it. And even though I'm thinking in my head, I can't make it down this road, I roll the windows down and I'm still in drive.
It's exciting. To think that without him in my life, I feel free. I feel like I can do anything. Instead of stressing and worrying about little stupid things that weren't even worth time in the first place. I can now set the path that only a mother can imagine for her kids to follow. My dream is to leave this world with a legacy my kids can follow so clear and built so strong that their kids and their grand kids will have no problem following either.
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