I honestly don't know how many times I've said the title in my life. I do know that it's been too many times. But with how far I've taken things to get us to the point we are now, it deserves one last chance. I've driven him so far away, it's like I can't do anything at all.
It's almost as if I were to draw a picture of a house with no windows and doors. All the memories and moments you don't want to forget are all locked in. And as much as I try and knock down those walls to get back in, I can't. I either fail, quit, or simply just too weak.
Now, I will give it my all, and try without fail to find out if there is still something worth fighting for. And the funny thing about all of this, is that I have no clue if there is even any fight on the other end.
I wish I could just sit down with God and ask him bluntly, what do I do? I could use an answer to that question. I've heard the opinions of those in my life that are honestly only looking out for me, but when a mother thinking of her kids, knowing exactly what she wants for her kids is the opposite of those opinions I dare ask again, what do I do?
He's your daughters best friend. Your daughter means everything to you. And even if it meant to suffer with him for your daughters happiness, you would gladly do so. How long can I take it? How far does it have to go before things come crashing down further than you anticipate?
With how deep I've dug myself, all I can and will do is take it day by day.
No comments:
Post a Comment