Standing A Little Taller

As hard as things are right now in my life, I hold all the cards. I see Tamara color in her notebook and think to myself, "She is so much stronger then me." Right now I'm shutting things down. I'm taking things in bit by bit and simply getting over it. Thinking about the past really only recharges my battery with why I'm doing what I'm doing. I'm gonna smile. I'm gonna laugh. And instead of hating the hurting feeling I feel right now, I'm gonna enjoy it. Why? Because it's only gonna bring me and my kids true happiness.
Because of me, my family hurts. And maybe that was part of the reason with why I held on so long. I didn't want my family to have to hurt anymore then what I've already put them through in the past. It hurts me more to think about what my family now has to go through, versus my little family not being whole anymore. Oh please! We were never whole to begin with. Even though I tell myself that it's all his fault, it's just as much mine as it is his.
As I continue to move forward, I see the road begin to increase. I look up into the sky, shaking my head from left to right. I say aloud, "The broken road isn't enough? Do you really have to make it that much harder for me?" I keep pushing on the gas only to feel the car rumble back at me as if it were screaming, "Give it a rest already!" The car comes to a halt. I start to break down in tears. Listening to my kids crying in the back. I look up and ask myself, "What the hell am I doing?" I put the car in neutral, get out and start to push. Pushing the car against the increased road, rocking it back and forth to try and give the car as much momentum before I give it my all to get it over this hill. Sweat dripping down my face, pushing as hard as I can, the load of the car begins to feel lighter. Could I really be this strong? I look up only to see 8 familiar faces pushing along side me. I begin to tear up again with a heart full of gratitude.
Can I just say that I have the greatest family in the world. I'm sure there are others out there that feel the same way about their families, but seriously, I really do have the greatest family in the world!