"People are often unreasonable, irrational and self centered; forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies; succeed anyway. If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you; be honest and sincere. What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight; create anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous; be happy anyway. The good you do today, will often be forgotten; do good anyway. Give the best you have and it may never be enough; give your best anyway. In the final analysis, it is between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway." - Mother Theresa

Monday, September 3, 2012

Hugs And Kisses

I said a prayer and really opened my heart. I poured out everything within my heart and scattered it on the table and as I put those pieces together, I found what I thought was missing.

Who would've thought that something as simple as a prayer could give me the answers to the questions I've been longing for.

I'm ok. I'm doing all the things I need to do to keep moving forward to progress.

Tamara is potty trained. Thank goodness. But she goes to the bathroom just to flush the toilet for fun a lot. But that's a hit I'm gonna have to take or I'll be risking a big mess and a lot more laundry then necessary. lol


We went shopping and she just had to have this cupcake backpack. So I gave in and bought it for her. lol Even though our money is totally on the low end of the pool, I sometimes can't help but give her what she wants. I told her if ever her dad starts paying child support again, she could go all crazy with every penny of it. lol (maybe) But he's one of those losers that runs from it and works under the tables. So whatev. I don't depend on it anyway. He was never really there for her in the first place. So why would I think he would be now, especially since he's free from having to care for them. 

I look back on life when we were still together and it makes me cry. I knew what I wanted in a man and from the beginning he never gave me anything that I was gonna pursue in a man. He was what everyone warned me about. An absolute loser. I'll definitely be embarrassed when Tamara and Hene grow up and see the guy that "helped" bring them into this world. And as I teach them morals, mantras, and good qualities they will for sure look at me and ask, "What the hell?" 

I honestly hoped that he would've moved back home to Alaska so I could just tell the kids, he died. lol 


But it's a great backpack huh? haha She was happy and seeing her smile was worth it. 

Henele. He is so CHILL. I did get the pic!!


Ha! Everytime he makes that sound with his mouth. And you know which one I'm talking about, just look at the picture. I tell him he's a little helicopter. I can't wait for halloween. I'm seriously gonna dress him as a helicopter of a lizard cause of all that mouth activity. haha


He is teething which means I'm up at all hours of the dang night. Mommy duties are great. 


If you wondered at the beginning of this entry what I though I was missing. 
Absolutely nothing. 
I sorta lost myself for a sec and just didn't have my focus.
But.
I did whip it back together and I'm back!
Can you really blame me for that though? I think everyone sometimes loses focus and slowly finds that part of themself to get them back. 
I'm glad I did.
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